Spam Spam Spam Spam
8:18pm

In the past 24 hours, I have received the following offers via a crapload of spam:

Filthy S-L-U-T-S from H-E-L-L
the G-Spot and starving your lover
Get around Drinking & Driving with this
Yahooooo ru ywz t cn av g
Aya- Girls with Horses 40377672
Watch your wanger grow like a weed! - Jenben
Don't bother Shaving this summer.
Perfekte Integration ist schwierig

I think I'll pass on them all, especially the wanger one.

Odds and Ends
12:29am

First and foremost, tonight is free ice cream night around the nation at Baskin Robbins from 6-10 pm. You KNOW I'll be there! Coconut Fudge Macaroon, here I come!

Jack Osbourne is doing his first stint in rehab. He's only 17!

Who else will be at the theater on Friday for X2? I'm SO there. Good thing I don't have work on Friday or I'd have to call in sick.

Did you know that sex toys are illegal in Alabama? Next time you vacation there, leave your "massagers" at home.

Holy Moley! There are 3303 cases of SARS in China! That makes our 41 cases look like nothing! We have no deaths, in case you're curious. Canada has 21 deaths.

Has anyone else seen the Snapple commercial that imitates the famous Running of the Bulls in Pamplona with bottles of Snapple and guinea pigs with little horns on their heads? OMG is it cute and funny! Most creative ad they've had in years.

GRE Word 3
12:27am

Torpid - adjective - lethargic; sluggish; dormant

Questions from mike
8:08pm

I have had explicit instructions this time around. mike said "you can explain your answer, but you must pick one!" Oh! We're playing "gun to the head" are we? Just you wait until next time I give YOU questions!   ;)
 
1. the rolling stones or the beatles?
Beatles! Hands down. More inventive musically and lyrically.

2. reggae or jazz?
I don't listen to either on a regular basis but reggae can sure be relaxing! Especially while on a vacation in Jamaica smoking some weed…not that I would know from personal experience.

3. lps or cds?
What's an LP? Just kidding. I still have perhaps 30 albums for sentimental value but I don't have a turntable hooked up so I'll say CDs.

4. crank it up or turn it down?
It depends on the music. For instance, "Been Caught Stealing" by Jane's Addiction must be cranked. However, a little known fact about me is that I'm very sensitive to sound. Ergo, I'm aways telling my husband to turn it down.

5. acoustic or electric?
Nothing beats a good electric kazoo!

GRE Word 2
5:01pm

Veracity - noun - Truthfulness; honesty

Upping the Ante
8:34pm

Hubby, being the generous guy that he is, had changed the prize for the GRE Word a Day game. See below:

"Tell y'all what: I'll raise the ante. Whoever wins gets the entire Twin Songs Records library, consisting of: Songs Arriving Late, by One Week In April; Winter Storm Warning, by Kent Rytting & Nick Bennett; Flower In My Fist, by Naked April. The only condition is this: if you like the music, tell someone else about it!"

So get your guesses in by May 1st to this address and good luck!

GRE Word 1
12:32am

Hegemony - noun - the consistent dominance of one state or ideology over others.

Concert
10:52am

I saw Ani DiFranco last night on her solo tour. She was awesome as usual. Even though her new album was recorded with a full band, it seems she is no longer interested playing with others for the time being. She says it's too stressful to have to worry about what 5 other people are doing all the time. I actually like the full band sound so that's a little disappointing but it's so amazing to watch her energy and intensity when playing just by herself. I'll always happily see her with or without accompanyment. Besides, the audience she attracts is always fascinating and almost as entertaining as the show itself.

Motivation
11:13am

Wanna know the best way to motivate me? To piss me off and I'm plenty pissed so I'm gonna just skip this whole bullshit master's stuff and apply right for a PhD program in psychology. That means I gotta take the GREs which just about makes me wanna pee my pants in fright. I have the vocabulary of a kindergartener and I have GOT to beef it up so starting Monday, I will be posting a new vocabulary word a day.

Here's where you get to play along. You get to guess how many days in a row I keep this up. The person closest to the number of days will win a free CD from my husbands band. (Visit twinsongs records to hear some samples.) Mail your guesses to this address. I will take guesses until Thursday, May 1st, at 5pm my time (mountain). You only get one guess so make it a good one. One word a day means one word each calendar day so if I post one on Thursday at 12:01am and another one on Friday at 11:50pm, that still counts as one a day even though there is more than 24 hours between posts. Please, no whining! Thanks :)

BTW, when I'm on my fabulous vacation at the end of May, the game will be temporarily suspended as I will be on a sailing ship in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and will have no way to post.

PS: Thanks to my husband and his generosity, who has no idea I have just offered to give away his CDs.

No…
7:49pm

…I did not get into grad school. What a bunch of losers.

I bought the entire Kimba the White Lion series on DVD to console myself. Does anyone else remember Kimba?

Word or Not Answer
9:45am

Formicophilia is a real word that means to use insects for sexual pleasure. And yes, I learned that word in my Abnormal Psych class. So now you know what my tuition is going toward. Charming huh?

Odds and Ends
11:51am

Still haven't heard from the Graduate School. *sigh*

I've been running a low grade fever since Saturday. Think I should do something about it? The doc would just tell me to go home and rest, I know it.

My FIL is in the series finale of Touched By an Angel this weekend. If you happen to catch it, he's the judge. Apparently he's only in the second half, Sunday night. It's about his 6th (and last, obviously) appearance on the show.

Will Ferrell of SNL fame ran the Boston Marathon on Monday. He even finished under four hours! Gooooo Will!

Update: I went to doctor. I have some viral crud and she told me to go to bed. Big surprise.

A Wonderful Post…
3:43pm

…by Lt Smash about freedom of speech.

Word or Not
3:36pm

It's time for your favorite blog game, Word or Not?

Here's how it works: I post a word. You guess if it's a real word or not. If you think it's really a word, post what you think the difinition is. If you know it's a word but want to place a fictitional definition for our amusement, please feel free. I will post the answer in a couple of days. Cheaters will be strung up by their largest body part(s).

Today's word is Formicophilia.

Is formicophilia a real word? What does it mean?

Freak Out!
2:57pm

When should I freak out about the fact that my Graduate School application is missing? It coud be in one of 2 places: the graduate school office or in the office of the department to which I am applying. Neither of these offices claim to have the application, my personal statement, my 3 recommendations, or my 20 page writing sample. I know for a fact the department met 2 weeks ago to decide who they were going to accept. So…when do I get to freak out?

Oh, did I mention that if I don't get into graduate school that I lose my TA job?

A Little Story
1:05pm

Once upon a time, a woman thought, "wouldn't it be cool to have a blog that all women could contribute to? We could discuss all kinds of things, like breast feeding and dating and mating and PMS and other things that women often discuss but gross out men? It could be our own place to hang out and share our experiences and knowledge to help each other out. I could call it TMI Talk and let everyone add their 2¢." And that exactly what she did. She started a blog to talk about women's bodily functions and social functions and all but no one came. Sadly the blog did not catch on and she decided to put it out of its misery. So, some time during the next week, TMI Talk will be put down, humanely and with love. The End.

Dumb
11:46am

Who thought this was a good idea?

Random Thoughts
1:39am

My kitchen sink is clogged, dammit! Now I'm gonna have to find a plumber and pay an arm and a leg to get it fixed. Bah!

Is liking Shakira a guilty pleasure or just sad and/or lame? (I will await your comments before divulging if I am talking about myself or not.)

I watched Sybil tonight for my Abnormal Psych class. That's a messed up movie. 'Course, it kind of bummed me out. BTW, I got an A on my test! Yay me! :)

What's with the remake of Flashdance by Jennifer Lopez? They got the duration right tho. That movie should have been 3.5 minutes long. Could she be any closer to nude and still have the video play on VH1? Give me a break. Gotta say one thing about her…she's about the healthiest almost-naked person I've seen on VH1 or MTV. (Read - she dosn't look like she's starving or about to keel over due to lack of nutrition. If anyone sez I'm calling her fat, you can bite me.)

How man half brothers does Saddam have? Sheesh!

Mmmm…Nelly's "Pimp Juice" is on now. I can't wait to see what the eff that's about. Since when does VH1 play gangsta artists? I now remember why I don't watch videos anymore. GAH! I think it's time to go to bed.

Why I'm Going to Hell
1:05am

You don't belong in Hell. Sorry.

...You probably fucking lied or cheated. Fucker.

Why Will You Go To Hell?
brought to you by Quizilla  

Most Errr…Interesting Lyric of the Day
12:00am

…my pussy is a tractor and this is a tractor pull.
              - Ani DiFranco, Slide from CD Evolve

Phew!
12:44am

It is only 12:44am on Wednesday and this week I have taken an Abnormal Psych test, finished off my taxes (ok, Nick did that), written a screenplay and written a paper for my other weird Japanese class! I'm exhausted! Now this weekend I only need to grade 120 papers on the Dhammapada. Good times!

Cat Notes
12:10am

With the beautiful weather we are having the cats are having a ball frolicking outside which means it's time to start the Cat Death Toll for 2003 - 1 moth, 2 lizards. (Please don't bring birds in this year!)

Poor Spider got in a fight the other night and has a scratch on the inside of her eyelid which means Nick and I get to give her eye drops twice a day. I cannot put into words how much fun that is! It's actually kinda gross since the wound tries to scab over but can't since it's under the lid so the scabby stuff ends up on the outside of her eye like a brown eye booger on the outside corner instead of the inside corner. YUM!

Now you KNOW if it were Damien that had to go to the vet's, there is no way he'd be in that carrier!

You Wanna Know How I Know I'm Old?
7:21pm

While flipping around the TV today, I came across a video on MTV. It was a rap song with 10 ft high letters of lightbulbs that spelled out DAMN in the background with women in gold bikinis dancing around. I'd say about every fourth word had to be bleeped out of the song to make it clean enough for TV and this is what I thought:

"I can't even figure out what that guy is trying to say between the bleeps and the 'shizzles'. Why bother putting it on TV?"

"Uh, is it really appropriate to have 10 foot letters spelling out DAMN? I mean isn't that going to be offensive to people or is that the point?"

"I remember when videos were cool, like 'Sledgehammer' by Peter Gabriel. Now THAT was a video! You can't beat dancing chicken carcasses and sperm!"

*sigh* What's it all about, Alfie?

Always Keep the Receipt
11:59am

This is the funniest story I've read in a long time. It involves a drunk man, a brothel, and a $9000 refund.

Feeling Suicidal? Need a Job?
7:10am

A British knife-thrower is looking for a new assistant after he hit his last assistant in the head with a knife on live TV. The assistant (also the girlfriend of the knife thrower) has decided to leave the knife act to concentrate on her hula-hoop act. Is that a lateral move? I can't figure it out.

A Mystery
8:46pm

Why is it that when my husband is out of town my car's gas tank doesn't magically fill up when that little "low fuel" light goes on?

Attention Madison Avenue…
7:36am

…If you wish for me to watch your TV commercial, do NOT place a crying baby in it! A crying baby is NOT a pleasant sound, contrary to what you may believe. As soon as a commercial with a crying child comes on TV, I change the channel. Consider me heartless if you must but DAMN that sound is annoying! (This morning's commercial with a crying child was for carpet! I mean if it were for baby formula or diapers or something it would at least make some friggin' sense!)

Geraldo Rivera Revisited
10:42pm

According to MSNBC, several troops asked if they could meet and shake hands with Rivera. This request may seem strange when you consider that it was Rivera that reported the location of the troops with which he was embedded in Iraq…until you find out that before shaking hands with the IQ challenged reporter the soldiers had their hands in "unmentionable places." Hahahaha-ewwwwwwwww-hahahahaha!

White Flag
9:03pm

Let's assume that Saddam and his sons and the other leaders that were supposed to be with him are dead. Let's assume that the rest of Iraq want to end the war. How will they do that? They have no leader who would contact the Coalition Forces to discuss surrendering. Isn't it possible that we could continue to bomb the crap out of Baghdad, killing untold numbers of people? Just curious…

Why I Don't Live in Utah
8:00pm

It snowed, SNOWED, the entire time I was there! Now, if it were December or January or even February I wouldn't really care. I would expect it to be cold and snowy. But its APRIL for Pete's sake! I was FREEZING! As my husband's gig was outside, *I* was outside for at least 2 hours in the snow and wind. The gig ended at 5pm. My toes stopped throbbing at about 1am. I lived in Massachusetts for 20 years and Vermont for 8 years and there is a reason I moved to New Mexico...to get out of the COLD! GAH!

Utah or Bust
12:31am

In case any of you are going to be in Utah skiing this weekend, why not check out my husband's band, Naked April, at Snowbird this Sunday for Apres Ski music from 2 to 4pm out on the Plaza deck? My husband is the one with the looooong hair. I might even be there myself.    ;)

Hung Over?
1:44pm

An Austrian policeman cut the emergency phone lines at the police station and turned off his radio so he could sleep off his hangover in peace. No emergency calls could reach the station while he was was night-night. Now there's a man who loves his job! He was suspended and fined.

Just a Thought
10:34pm

Has anyone else considered that SARS may just be a human engineered illness?

Dumb Joke of the Day
10:19am

Q: What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?

A: Boobees! Ahhhhhahahahahahahahahahaha!

Sorry, I needed a reason to laugh and while this was a weak reason, it's better than nothing.

In Case You're Wondering…
5:44pm

…the phone lines are down in Baghdad (according to MSNBC) so I don't think Salam Pax could blog if he wanted to. I, personally, choose to believe he's fine but just can't get the word out.

Odds and Ends
3:20pm

The oldest mummy is unearthed. They estimate it to be 5000 years old!

Hong Kong has 75 new cases of SARS in a 24 hour period. That's one fast moving illness!

The Vatican's new glossary that deals with sex states,that homosexuals are not normal, suffer from psychological conflicts and that "countries which allow gay marriages are inhabited by people with 'profoundly disordered minds.'" Uh, yeah, right. I wonder what it says about pedophilic priests.

Hey, I know this is a really bizarre question, but does anyone out there have a copy (VHS) of the movie Sybil with Sally Field? I can get extra credit in my abnormal psych class if I watch it. Thanks.

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