The Soap Box
A place for me to dump my brain and you to pick thru it

Nightmares
12:07am

This is SERIOUSLY something I've had nightmares about except instead of my left eye, it was my left thumb and instead of ants it was spiders. Ewwwwwwwww!

New Addiction
2:06pm

For whatever reason, summer is a great time for reality TV. Besides The Amazing Race and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, my newest reality TV addiction is Beg Borrow & Deal II on ESPN. In case you have never seen the show, it consists of 2 teams made up of 4 strangers each. These teams need to travel around the country and accomplish 10 tasks from a 50 item list. The contestants have no money. In fact, they aren't even allowed to touch money! They have to basically ask for favors from EVERYONE. In the last episode, they stopped some mom in her SUV and begged a ride off of her to a sports stadium where one of the male contestants had to play a game of one-on-one basketball against a member of the WNBA. (He lost.)

The tasks are usually sports related and the teams can only do one task per state. The tasks include playing a set of tennis against either Williams sister, drink anything out of the Stanley Cup, playing a game of basketball in a prison against an inmate team, driving the pace car at a NASCAR event, and riding the zamboni in between periods at an NHL game. However, my favorite task has got be # 19: boxing an entire round with a female professional boxer OR TANYA HARDING! Hahahahhahahaha!

VCR Alert
9:04pm

There is a special on FOX this Thursday that I thought for sure you'd want to catch. It's entitled "101 Things Removed from the Human Body." Woohoo! (Uh, that's sarcastic, BTW).

Farewell Futurama
6:01pm

For those of you that have a well tuned funnybone, you have only two more chances to see first-run Futuramas. There are only two original episodes left, airing next Sunday and on August 10th, then it's off the air -- well at least on Fox.You can still catch the repeats as part of Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. Don't you hate when good shows die before their time? Like Greg the Bunny or Andy Richter? *sigh*

Quote of the Day
2:41pm

"I don't know what they are but I don't think we need them" - Monster Garage

Ahhhh, good philosophy!

What NOT to See
2:03pm

This is the plot of an actual movie set to be released around Thanksgiving:

Two crooks ripping off unsuspecting mall-goers with their Santa-in-disguise scheme are stopped in their tracks by an 8-year-old boy who knows the real meaning of Christmas.

Ugh! That sounds TERRIBLE! Before you may think it's just some B movie, let me tell you that it stars Billy Bob Thornton. Don't call me to go with you to this stinkbomb.

DUI
10:07pm

3071 warrants were issued today for people who did not appear in court on DUI charges. It gives you a good idea how bad the problem is here in New Mexico. It has only been in the past couple of years that drive-thru liquor stores were made illegal and you should have heard the fight over that! It is not uncommon to hear a story about a man who was driving the wrong way down the highway, killing a family and racking up his 8th (or more) DUI charge. There was even a story of a man who used his dead brother's birth certificate to get a license after his was suspended! How sick is that? I think your first 3 DUIs are misdemeanors actually. To me, it doesn't seem that difficult to dissuade people from drinking and driving by throwing them in jail after the 2nd DUI. If there is a third, the person's car should be impounded and the license should be pulled permanently. Good thing for all those D&D losers I'm not making the laws.

I Got Sunshine…
12:05pm

Is it possible to become depressed from too much sun? If so, pass me the prozac.

When I first moved here from the Boston area, I was depressed when it was sunny every fricken day. However, when the afternoon thundershower rolled through during the summer, it was such a relief, heat and emotion wise. Then, after getting used to the sunshine, I would get down if I woke up and it was overcast - a rare occurance, luckily.

Well, this summer we don't have the monsoons. This July is the hottest July in HISTORY! As of the beginning of last week, we had 1/100 of an inch of rain for the month. Then thanks to Claudette we had a 5 minute shower one day but since then, nothing but glaring, hot, beastly sunshine. I think it's making me crazy.

Missed Out
4:08pm

I'm definitely doing this next year. Woulda done it this year but I didn't know about it until today. Oh well.

Justice is Served
12:04pm

Anyone remember the court case for which I was a potential jurer? I did all I could to get out of sitting on the jury of this case dealing with child sexual penetration. Well, today the loser was sentenced to 75 years in jail for 4 counts of child rape. Woohooo! The judge said, "these children need to know that you will be in jail for the rest of your life." Sometimes things work out the way they are supposed to.

Gambling for Computers
10:56pm

The Sandia Pueblo in Albuquerque NM distributed new computers with flat screen monitors to every household. The computers were bought with profits from the casino owned by the tribe. Pretty cool huh? Nice to know that some tribes are not only making money but using it to benefit their people.

Note to Self…
1:44am

…do NOT drink 710 mL of water right before a 2.5 hour movie. Derrrrr

Looking in the Mailbox
10:48am

Yes, I am still getting more than 100 pieces of spam a day. Here is just a sampling of what I am constantly get bombarded with:

• Been searching long for you
  Me love you long and hard?
• Jenben is Phenomenal iikzsptsysp i v
  Why thank you!
• Satisfy her now, before she falls asleep!
  ummm, her who, exactly?
• I can't do it anymore!
  Then stop sending this damn spam!
• Ignore bemfry
  Consider it done
• Getting caught with your pants down?
  No, but thanks for asking you perv
• PB & J ,Monkey Poo and more Fun Pages
  PB&J and monkey poo? I pass.

There's so much more but I don't think anything can top PB&J and monkey poo!

Darwin At Work
12:58am

This sick mo-fo poured lighter fluid inside someone's trailer home Sunday morning then lit it on fire. He waited for the woman who lived there to come running out then chased her and cut her with a machete. She did not die, but her 1 year old baby boy died of smoke inhalation. On Monday, the police caught up with the sicko and chased him up Sandia Peak, where he swerved his car off the road and died in a fiery crash -- saving us, the taxpayers of New Mexico, the expense of housing the asswipe in the local jail, a public defender, etc. Thanks loser!

Hyperactive: When I'm Small
1:11pm

Prescriptions for Ritalin were up 22% in Britain for 2002. So, is it a miracle drug or over-prescribed? What do you think?

Local News
12:40am

This state is so weird, I swear. I've lived in only 4 states but New Mexico takes the cake on strange and/or horrifying local news. I give you this story for your ummm...well, not amusement...let's say perusal.

Sunday Driver Never Took a Test
6:39pm

I now know where the worst drivers are in the world. They are all driving like assholes in Española, New Mexico. I used to think they were in So Cal. but at least there, they just drive fast, not stupid. In Española, they just drive any damn way they want without looking. I was almost hit by 2 different cars in one parking lot! What a zoo!

And why was I in Española, approximately 2 hours from Albuquerque, to begin with? I was there to attend the Eight Northern Indian Pueblos Arts and Crafts Show at the San Juan Pueblo, just north of Española. This annual show is always fabulous, with wonderful artists and reasonable pricing. However, this year, it was about 110 degrees and no shade. I am NOT exaggerating. Nick lasted about 3 booths when he said," I'm going to find some shade." I don't know where he went but I lasted about an hour in the heat and sun. Then even I, the ever vigilant bargain shopper, had to get out of that heat and dust. I did find out what happens to the human body when in the heat for an hour with no liquid. You get woozy and your body stops processing stimuli so that you see things as if you had frozen a movie frame then removed 10 frames then unfreeze the movie then freeze it again, and so on. Then I don't know what happens because I was gulping a lemonade by then.

While I wished I could have seen more of the show, I did pick up a wonderfully unique silver bracelet, a little turtle fetish made out of black marble and a Christmas present for the hardest person on our list to shop for so it was a success!

Whose Show is it Anyway?
1:32am

Arguably the funniest show in TV these days is Whose Line Is It Anyway, on ABC. What day? Well, sometimes on Fridays…like maybe every other Friday or one Friday a month, if you're lucky. Here's the strange thing: ABC will start shooting new Whose Line shows next month, but it is not on the schedule for the Fall. Nor is the Drew Carey show, also scheduled to start shooting next month. Strange huh? They are willing to pay for the production of 2 shows that possibly will never be aired. Now is that good business?

A Good Friend
12:00pm

When the Emmy Award nominations were announced today, one actor finally got a well deserved nomination. This actor has been on the top show for years but his acting has often been overshadowed by his co-stars. I am talking about Matt LeBlanc, Joey on Friends. I, myself, did not appreciate his comedic skills for years but now, when I watch Friends in syndication, I recognize his impeccable timing and how he becomes his dim-witted character. I think that's why people did not appreciate him earlier - they assumed he was playing himself. Maybe that's true, but I don't think so. I think he's just a great comedic actor who, other than Friends, has not found the right materal (as if that baseball-playing monkey movie was the right material for ANYONE). Anyway, I will be cheering for Matt in September when they announce the Emmy winners for Best Actor in a Comedy.

Update: My other favorite Friend, Hank Azaria, (who Phoebe chose NOT to be with, much to my chagrin) is up for best guest appearance on a comedy or something like that.

Cool Auction
6:20pm

There's a really cool on-line auction going on where you can bid on things like a walk-on role in Rent on Broadway, VIP tickets to the premiere of Brittany Murphy's new film in LA, 2003 World Series, a Darth Vader helmet signed by James Earl Jones, and a Shakespearian acting class with Lynn Redgrave! Pretty cool huh? It's for the Actor's Fund. It makes me wish I had an extra couple thousand dollars.

Record Breaker
5:28pm

I'm sure you are all tired of hearing about our weather but in case you're not, we broke a record yesterday. At dawn it was 78 degrees, the highest low reading for a day since they started keeping records in 1898. I'm sure all of us who live in Albuquerque will remember this summer.

Interesting Origins
12:22pm

A teratogen is something that creates malformations in a fetus. Obviously, alcohol is a teratogen. What's interesting is where the word comes from. It comes from Greek and means "to make monsters." Pretty apropos, don't you think?

Miscellaneous
12:25pm

For your entertainment today, just some random stuff like…

Tim Burton is trying to decide who should be his leading man for the upcoming movie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. For the role of Willy Wonka, he is deciding between Michael Keaton and Christopher Walken. I'm voting for Mr. Walken.

In other strange casting news, guess who's been tapped to play Batman in the next movie in that franchise? Ashton Kutcher! WTF? That's just bizarre. Maybe Batman found a machine that makes him go back in time, while sucking muscle and intelligence out of him. Hey! It could happen, couldn't it?

The Presurfer will be blogging for 24 hours straight on July 22nd. Why? Because he's insane, of course. (I mean that in the best possible sense, Gerard. *wink*)

Quote of the Day:
You look easy and ready to put out so roll in the cream cheese, roll in the cream cheese.
- Colin Mocherie, Whose Line is it Anyway?

OMG
4:15pm

Do you know what happens when your water pump burns out on your swamp cooler? Then it just blows 100+ degree air from the outside into the inside! Fucking charming! Luckily, my HVAC guy feels bad for me and is coming over right now. I'll be sitting on the popsicles until he gets here.

The Story Continues…
11:58am

OK, for the one of you who read my entry on FAS, remember I said something cryptic about facts I learned after reading Michael Dorris's wonderful book, Broken Cord? Well, I'll let you in on the gory details.

A pediatrician that works on the same research project as me told me that Mr. Dorris's FAS son was killed while walking home from work. His son knew that if he followed the white line in the road he would get home. Unfortunately, he was walking on the white line when he was the victim of the hit and run accident. I wanted more details about this tragedy so I did a search on Michael Dorris on the web and I found out much more than I wanted.

In 1997, Michael Dorris committed suicide, one day before child abuse charged were going to be filed against him in the state of Minnesota. His wife had left him the year previous because of his depression. She stated he had been depressed since the second year of their marriage and she couldn't take it any more. Another court battle had been played out in Colorado between Dorris and another one of his adopted children.

In the book, Michael appears to be an amazing father, adopting three Native American children as a single father, then creating three more of his own with his wife. He travels tirelessly to different reservations, primarily in North Dakota, Minnesota, and Nebraska, for his research on FAS. He attends all kinds of lectures and conferences. These do not seem like the actions of a depressed man. These seem like the actions of a fighter and a crusader. Now obviously Michael Dorris picked his own words to describe his experiences. It would seem that he chose them to hide what he was truly feeling. However, people suffering from depression tend to not be so outgoing (to put it mildly).

When Dorris died, all court records in the state of Minnesota were sealed, as per the request of his wife. However, knowing the charges were to be filed, I couldn't help but see possible abuse while reading the last chapter of Broken Cord. This last chapter is his FAS's son recollection of his life entitled, The Adam Dorris Story by Adam Dorris. This last chapter, while written by a 20 year old, seems to be written by a third grader and appears to be completely unedited. Parts are sweet and parts are disturbing and sad. However, this last chapter is a priceless look into the mind of a victim of FAS.

So in the end, it's hard for me to mesh together the Michael Dorris of the book and the Michael Dorris in the press. Which is the real Michael? How could this man, so dedicated to his brain damaged son, possibly hurt any of his children? What didn't he let us see in his book? It's hard not to think that he purposely made himself the hero of his book. This very open look at the life of a FAS parent is, perhaps, not as open as it would seem.

FAS
9:08pm

While I have not discussed it much, I am working as a research assistant for a study that is looking for a positive therapy technique to help pregnant alcoholic women to stop drinking long enough to bear and wean healthy babies. In connection with this, I just finished reading an amazing book called "The Broken Cord" by Michael Dorris. Mr. Dorris was the first single man in the US to adopt a baby. What he didn't know is that his beautiful baby boy had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). FAS is caused by the child being in contact with alcohol in utero. While I learned tons about FAS, I also learned about some incidents that happened after the events of the book come to a close ( which I will not divulge at this time) which leave me wondering about the sincerity of the book. However, I feel compelled to tell you some of the facts about FAS. These first 2 are mind-boggling:

• FAS is the leading cause of mental retardation
• FAS is completely preventable

Think of it: the 77,000 cases of FAS that are born in the US every year are totally preventable by simply not having the mother drink while pregnant. That's it! It's so easy to prevent it in theory, but very difficult to do in reality.

What are some symptoms of FAS? Well, beside the physical characteristics, FAS children tend to have an IQ around 70. They have no concept of time other than now. This means they have no concept of saving money, of not eating their school lunch on the way to school, of being on time for a job. One example Mr. Dorris shares is that if the electricity flickered in his home so that the clocks were reset and his son's alarm went off at 2 am instead of 7, he would hear his son getting his breakfast and leave the house to walk to the school bus stop at that time. It didn't matter that it was dark outside. His son only learned through routine and never even gave a thought to the fact that it sure seemed dark outside that morning. To question such things actually never crossed his mind.

FAS kids will take what they want without thinking of the consequences which leads many of them into the court system. They don't consider what could happen if they take things. They are easily talked into doing stupid things like calling their bosses obscene names, giving their lunch or money to someone else, drinking or doing drugs or other crimes on behalf of others.

They don't care about personal appearance. They can go weeks without bathing or brushing their hair or changing their clothes. These things just don't seem to occur to them. They are comfortable wearing the same thing every day.

When I think of all the things they don't do or think about, it seems to me that these kids are born with no survival instinct. The rest of us think about how to get ahead, how to do our jobs the best we can, how to make money, how to save for retirement. These are survival skills in our society. What does it mean when someone has none of these skills? Even other animals have more skills than these poor kids. Even squirrels know to gather nuts for the upcoming winter. If you think about it, what do you think would have happened to these children during the caveman days. These children never would have made it. Even now, very few of these children ever develop enough skills to live alone, working at a minimum wage job at that.

The amazing thing about FAS is that even though women have been bearing children since the dawn of time and even though alcohol has been available since pre-history, it was only in the 1970's that FAS was a diagnosable syndrome. Because of this fact, we do not know what happens to FAS victims. We do not know if their life expectancy is shortened, although it is believed it is not. We do not know how many die in prison, or end up homeless, or are institutionalized for the rest of their lives.

OK, now that I've bored the crap out of you, I would like to wrap this up with one last fact. Children who were exposed to alcohol while in the womb but do not have the physical characteristics found with FAS children are labeled with FAE, Fetal alcohol effects, which is a leading cause of hyperactivity. Could it be only coincidence that the number of women of child bearing age that drink is increasing as are the number of children diagnosed with hyperactivity?

Hell
8:25pm

I woke up at around 6:15am with a hot breeze blowing through my window. Even with 2 fans blowing and the swamp cooler on high, my bedroom was still 84 degrees. What was going on? I checked out the weather channel and found out the humidity was too high for the swamp cooler to be effective, which is bizarre considering later today the humidity was only 8%. It was then that I had an epiphany. Hell was not a place you possibly find yourself after you die. Hell is living in Albuquerque during the summer of 2003.

Hmoob Continued
11:13pm

From looking at my web stats, it would appear that others are interested in the Hmoob language that I blogged about so I decided to post a comment I received on the subject:

Hmoob is the same as Hmong. Hmong is how you would spell it in English. You are right about the Hmoob/Hmong; they are refugee from Laos after fighting the Vietnam war with the U.S. The war caused Hmong to fled out of Laos due to taking over of Communist.

There is a large number of Hmong across the US; mainly in WIS, MN, and CA. A few resides in the southeast and northeast of the country. The Hmong language is now almost considered to be the 3rd most spoken language in the US. There are Univesities in CA and WIS that teaches Hmong as foriegn language. Many Caucasian folks are learning how to speak Hmong. I have over 100 caucasian and African-American friends speaks Hmong everyday.

http://www.jefflindsay.com/Hmong_tragedy.html
http://www.hmongnet.org/
http://www.hr-n.com (Interesting site I found. Hmong owner).
- Ger Xiong

HOT!
6:57pm

Yes it's still in the triple digits. We're supposed to break records this week. Yes, I'm a grumpy bitch. How the hell am I supposed to go to the gym to purposely sweat when I feel like I'm melting just sitting still? Argh. Where are the traditional afternoon rain showers that cool the place off? I'm sorry but I never signed up for this.

Help An Animal
12:05am

I put a link to a site where if you click a button funds are raised to help feed homeless and/or unwanted animals. It's on the right side. Scroll down to find it then click it once a day. It's good for you!

Happy Birthday…
9:30am

…to His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.

And the Winner is…
12:54am

Melanie! She guessed I'd keep up the GRE Word of the Day for 30 words. I'm glad to say I went almost double that. I'll send you out those CDs when I get off my ass…that could be several days from now. Thanks to all those who played.

PS: Strangely, Melanie is the only person who sent me her address with her guess. Perhaps she's psychic?

Catching Up
8:21pm

Just as I spent 9/11 at a Hindu puja, I spent yesterday with some Tibetan monks who were making a sand mandala for the Green Tara (the "patron saint" of Tibet) in Santa Fe. It's always calming to be in the presence of these monks. They actually spend all their time traveling around the world, performing various ceremonies and raising funds for Tibetan children and their own monastery (Gyudmed monastery). What's cool is that it's the same monks that visit New Mexico every year or so, so it's kind of like seeing old friends when they are in town.

Today was the third day with triple digit temperatures. It really sucks. It is not supposed to get this hot here. It's really unusual. Unfortunately, we have several more days of it to come. I totally am going to become a hermit and sleep in the heat of the day and work at night. Yeah...I wish...

I was so grumpy with the heat and all that I forgot to post a new GRE word of the day. Then when I remembered about 1:30am I said "screw it." So, it lasted through 52 words. I figure that's pretty darn good for me. I'll have to look through my emails and see who won.

Just When You Thought It Couldn't Get Any Hotter…
4:20pm

…it's 100 degrees here right now. I'm gonna go crawl under a rock.

GRE Word 52
11:57pm

taciturn - adj - Habitually silent; not given to converse; not apt to talk or speak.

Summertime
9:37pm

So today it was a toasty 98 degrees here in Albuquerque. Right now, it's still 92 degrees. And guess what? We have no conventional air conditioning in our house. We have a swamp cooler. That cools our house to a frigid 85 degrees on a day like today. So what do you do when your house is too hot to bear? Go to the movies, of course. The Century Theaters chain actually makes more money per screen in Albuquerque than anywhere else they have a theater. We saw T3 and it was ok. Was entertaining. Plot holes big enough to drive a truck thru (and I think they did), but hey, it's T3! It's not a friggin documentary. There. There's my review. Now it's too hot to type anymore.

GRE Word 51
10:08pm

meretricious - adj - Alluring by false show; gaudily and deceitfully ornamental.

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