The Soap Box
A place for me to dump my brain and you to pick thru it

LOL!
1:21pm

Geraldo Rivera, reporter for Fox News, has been thrown out of Iraq for reporting where he was located with the troops and where they were going. He will be escorted back to Kuwait as soon as transportation can be arranged. He's such an idiot.

Remote
12:10pm

Don't you hate it when you get all comfy on the couch with your drink next to you and a nice warm quilt on your lap then you realize the TV remote is across the room and you don't want to get up so you are stuck watching something awful like Hogan's Heros? Yeah, I hate that too. (Actually, I'm all comfy but have NO idea where the remote is. Wahh!)

Word or Not Answer
1:44am

Opioid is a real word.

Function: adjective
Date: 1957
Possessing some properties characteristic of opiate narcotics but not derived from opium

mike wins for best fake answer. opioid - n. exhibiting the qualities of mayberry sherrif, andy taylor's son... example: The way he said "hey pa" was truly opioid.

Thanks to mike, Malcolm, and Robert for playing.

Just Silly
1:34pm

While plying my sick niece with Echinacea earlier today, I remembered a conversation I had with my grandmother a few years before she died.

Grandmother: Jen do you ever use that each-a-neach-a?
Jen: Each-a-neach-a? What's that?
Grandmother: It's for your immune system. It's in that jar there.
Jen: Oh Gramma, that's Echinacea.
Grandmother: Each-a-neach-a.
Jen: Ek-a-nay-sha
Grandmother: Each-a-neach-a?
Jen Ek…a…nay…sha
Grandmother: Each-a-neach-a
Jen: Yeah, that's it.

So now hubby and I call it Each-a-neach-a.

There is a story in Hollywood that when Walter Matthau met Sophia Loren for the first time when they were filming Grumpier Old Men, he said to her, "Nice to meetcha, love to eatcha." Which now leads hubby and I to the word game where once one of us has said" Each-aneach-a", the other will say "love to eatcha."

I told you it was just silly.

Odds & Ends
4:40pm

Thanks Nick for answering a chunk of my war questions. Is there anything you don't know?

Freedom Mustard!

With more family difficulties, my desire to blog is low. Someone tell me a joke.

mike Questions
12:13am

who is the funniest person you know? pick a famous person and a non-famous person. why are they so funny?
That's 2 questions. My husband is the funniest person I know I think. He can always make me laugh. Part of that is because we have a very similar warped sense of humor. Now, we can usually just tell eachother punchlines and crack each other up. Famous people who make me laugh include Eddie Izzard (executive transvestite), Louis Black, Adam Sandler, Dennis Leary, Dave Attell, Amy Poehler, and Janeane Garofalo.
 
what's the funniest movie you've ever seen?
Oooh, tough one! Happy Gilmore? Galaxy Quest would be a close second.
 
have you ever camped out for tickets to a concert/event? if so, for what...if not, would there be an event for which you would...
Never have. Have cut school and taken a 3 hours lunch from work for tickets. With the Internet, why would I have to camp out?
 
if you were financially set for life (assuming you are not), how would that effect your career plans?
It wouldn't much. I'd still want to continue my education so that I could get a job that gives back to humanity (like a therapist or counselor) but I also would become a potter.
 
what are you most proud of doing?
Hard to say. On the top of the list would be getting my engineering degree considering how much I hated the classes. I'm also proud that my current marriage has now lasted 2X as long as the first one and that I'm still crazy in love with hubby. How corny/sickening is that?

War Questions
11:03am

I have some questions about the war. I seriously would like answers to the following:

How did we get tanks there? I mean, I know we have ships but how do you get them from the ships to the land?

What are irregular forces?

How do you pronounce Qatar? Cutter? Gutter? Cah-TAR? (Pick one and stick with it!)

Is it British tor-NAY-doh or tor-NAH-doh? (Pick one and stick with it!)

If our missiles are so accurate, why have 3 fallen into Iran and at least one fallen into Turkey?

Does Jeannie Ohm, Pentagon correspondent on MSNBC, have a lazy eye?

How many of those embedded journalists wish they were in their own beds with their feather pillows right now?

How do you stop an oil well fire?

Why don't we have B52s on our carriers? Is England the closest we can get them to Iraq?

Why does the name Putin make me giggle?

Well, I had more questions floating around my head as I tried to go to sleep last night but I can't remember them so I guess that's it for now.

Spam Continued
12:33am

Is it just me or has spam increased since the war started? I got 125 pieces of spam Friday. I thought I'd share some of the Subject lines of them.They include:

Flea Season is Here!
Anti Aging Formula is Here!
Free Scooby-doo Keychain!
1/2 Off Viagra! (half off the length?)
Seduce Women Now!
I want to meet you for one night of sin
How many times do you pee a night?

And then there is this wonderful email which I can't actually read so I can never get my name of their list (as if!):

Give me a break! Spam you can't even read. Why fricken send the stupid-ass thing?

New Mexico in the News
4:03pm

We have someone in the hospital here in Albuquerque with that deadly mystery pneumonia now known as SARS. They have been there for some time. All medical personnel that came in contact with the person have been given time off to make sure they do not come down with it as well.

One of the US POWs is from Alamogordo, NM. I can't imagine what it was like when the mother of the soldier saw her son on TV. The BBC claims the video of the POWs and dead soldiers were shown on CBS although I did not see it myself (for which I am glad).

There are protests daily at Ronald Dumsfeld's house in Taos. I didn't even know he had a house in Taos! I think everyone does but me. Maybe when I actually win some money in Vegas, I can get one next to Julia Roberts.

Word or Not
11:40am

It's time for your favorite blog game, Word or Not?

Here's how it works: I post a word. You guess if it's a real word or not. If you think it's really a word, post what you think the difinition is. If you know it's a word but want to place a fictitional definition for our amusement, please feel free. I will post the answer in a couple of days if anyone bothers to play.

Today's word is Opioid.

Is opioid a real word? What does it mean?

On The Lighter Side
6:54am

Madonna won 2 Razzie awards yesterday, for worst lead actress in Swept Away and worst supporting actress in Die Another Day. The Razzies are given annually to the worst in the movie industry for the previous year.

Quote the Razzie's founder of Madonna's performance in the latest Bond film, "She's not even in the movie for two minutes, but she's so awful in that one scene, that for the whole rest of the movie, you cannot forget that your eyes and ears have been assaulted with the stupidity of her appearance."

In case you're counting, Madonna has won more Razzies than any other actress while Sylvester Stallone leads the pack in actor Razzies.

Money
7:19am

What does it say when the stock market has its best week since 1982 with 1000+ point gain the first week of war? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

"Better bombing through chemistry"
8:22pm

It would seem that some of our "friendly fire" mistakes have come due to the fact that amphetamines are used on a regular basis by pilots. Although the ingesting of them is supposed to be voluntary, a pilot can be grounded if he refuses to take the Speed. The dosage given to pilots has doubled since Desert Storm. To read more, click here.

Hide & Seek
10:46am

Do we really think we are going to find Saddam within Iraq? The Utah police and the FBI couldn't find a girl in our own country, even though apparently she was seen EVERYWHERE! She was even camping in practically her own back yard. The Las Vegas police even talked to them and couldn't figure out what was going on. We have an al Qaeda member in the US who went to flight school here. That sounds familiar. He's on the loose and we have no idea even where to look. So now we are going to look for a man who knows every hidden bunker in his own country and sends out doubles to throw people off. The only way we are going to get him is either a) by mistake…I mean luck or b) someone close to him gives him up. And what's with this BS propaganda our media is spewing? "We can't confirm that the entire Republican Guard has surrendered." Is that because it's completely untrue and made up for our benefit?

Back!
1:13pm

Vegas was a blast. However, we found out that March is maintenance season. It seemed like every other escalator and "moving walkway" was down for service. In the Luxor, where we stayed, they were pulling out the "Wheel of Fortune" slots (thank God) and laying down new carpet and slots. We went to Gameworks, a huge arcade, and were very disappointed with the amount of machines were down. We actually asked for and got our money back.

We still ate wonderful food and lost our shirts playing three card poker and didn't get nearly enough sleep. I tried out an oxygen bar in Caesar's and was allergy free for hours afterward. That rocked! I even got a massage while huffing the O2. Was totally worth it.

The funny thing is that Vegas was cold and rainy! I've NEVER seen it rain in Vegas before. When we got back to beautiful New Mexico, there was SNOW in our back yard! What's up with that?

I am glad we got back before the war started. At the Venetian they were stopping and checking all taxis. As they were the only place doing it in all of Vegas, we surmised that they probably had a threat against them.

So, for the rest of my Spring Break I will be sleeping. If you call, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I am conscious. Thank you.

PS: I tried Krispy Kremes for the first time and I can say they are definitely "eh."

Like, Oh My Gawd!
11:54am

Here is an actual sentence uttered in one of my college classes:

"Well, he was kinda like my boyfriend or whatever, blah."

This was not a conversation amongst friends but she was telling a story to the whole class including the professor as part of an assignment. I had two thoughts: 1) how did she get into college? and 2) did she used to watch Greg the Bunny and was a fan of the Count? I miss that show. It was funny.

Clearly the art of storytelling has been lost. There was a time when people could actually make a living traveling from town to town and meserizing people with folktales. This art was passed down from generation to generation until it was lost in technology (radio, TV, internet, etc). (Sigh)

Hey, Haloscan is REALLY pissing me off! Bugger!

I'm outta here tomorrow for Vegas baby! YEAH! Have fun without me! :)

Concert Update
11:56pm

Went to the B52's concert tonight. It was a blast! Fred Schneider's dancing alone was (almost) worth the price of admission. They even had Sara Lee playing bass. She's one of the best bassists ever (and as far as I know, does not make cakes). The crowd was as diverse as it gets. There were cowboy hats, wife beaters, suits, sliver shimmer dresses and pink Hawaiian shirts. I'm telling you, it was quite a scene. The guy in front of me danced like a spasming bobble-head doll, just like all the guys did when I was in high school. It brought back fond memories like when my friends would DJ the high school dance in the cafeteria. They'd play B52's "Dance This Mess Around", the Pretenders' "Precious", Flipper's "Sex Bomb", X's "Hungry Wolf", the Cramps' "Googoomuck", the Ramoness "I Wanna be Sedated", Dead Kennedys' "Holiday Inn Cambodia", etc. Does anyone else remember these bands/songs or am I really dating myself?

It's SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!! I survived! Woohoo!!!!

OMG!
4:46pm

After being kidnapped over 9 months ago, Elizabeth Smart was found alive!

Progress!
4:37pm

I got my Graduate School application in! YAY! That's a load off my mind :)

Spring!
9:57am

It's Teva weather! Yay! I LOVE Tevas! I'd live in them if I could.

Tomorrow's my big Abnormal Psych test then I can relax! Ahhhh!

Gender Bender
6:17pm

Here is a mind bending conversation I had while trying to enjoy a game of cribbage at pogo.com. (I am JemmJamm in the convo below):

JemmJamm: hi, good luck
PorkHock: m or f?
JemmJamm: Neuter
PorkHock: what???
JemmJamm: you know, neither m or f
PorkHock: you must be a male because a girl would never say that
JemmJamm: Well, I guess you figured it out then, didn't you?

Hey! If I'm trying to play Cribbage with you, could you at least say "hello" or "how are you?" before asking my gender? Or even better, just treat me like a human being. Thanks.

Not Much To Say
9:40am

Days till Spring Break: 3

Kind of a quiet morning here.

David Letterman has Shingles. Rather interesting since it's usually older people that get it. My grandmother had it for months and it was REALLY painful. Dave was hoping to simply take a week off and be back live. Well, guess what? It's not happening. He will have guest hosts all this week with Whoopi Goldberg tonight, Vince Vaughn tomorrow, Elvis Costello on Wednesday (I've never heard him say more than 2 sentences. How will he host an hour show?) and Will Ferrell Thursday night. Will should by hysterical! I'm gonna have to TIVO that show for later.

OK, back to studying etc. for me!

More Babies!
10:12am

Days till Spring Break: 4

On hubby's side of the family, we have yet another brandie new beautiful baby girl! This one was born to hubby's brother. Might be the last baby of that generation. She brings the total of nieces and nephews to at least 29. I lose track easily. It's hard to keep count! There are at least 6 great-nieces and nephews. Can you say BIG family?

DIET!
1:30pm

Days till Spring Break: 5

I put back up my diet page since it seems to help me. If I know people might be checking it to see if I've lost anything, I tend to try a little harder. I'm starting from scratch so I haven't lost anything yet so don't bother looking today but check it out maybe midweek if you want. That is all.

TMI
12:10pm

I just thought I'd remind all the women out there about the blog "TMI Talk." You can add your own posts so even if you don't have a blog of your own, you can talk about your boobs, bloating, dating, PCOS, kids, dieting, birth control…whatever you want. Check it out if you have time.

Hanging In There
10:02am

Days until Spring Break: 6

Bro is out of ICU and should be leaving the hospital tomorrow. No kidney damage. It sounds like he's in a good mood and wants to fight the cancer which I think is a good thing for his daughter. I just don't want him to suffer. The treatment of chemo and radiation sounds really rough. I hope he can put on a little weight beforehand. A doctor told me that many cancer patients die of malnutrition during chemo and all.

Hey all you bloggers! Don't you know I need to live vicariously through you all right now? So no more sabbaticals, no more stopping writing. For my sake, write SOMETHING! Selfish bitch, ain't I?

In good news, there was a new birth in the Bennett family Tuesday. A beautiful full term baby to a mother who had to go to extreme lengths to keep that baby in long enough for her to be "fully cooked" as it were. Yay Mom!

I got a glowing recommendation for Graduate School from the Director of Religious Studies! Wow, that made me feel great yesterday. I still need to do that damn personal statement tho. I HAVE to get it done this weekend while studying for my Abnormal Psych test.

OK, gotta get ready to go to the doc's for some kick-ass allergy medicine. I don't remember what it's like not to have them! Sad, huh? Just procrastination.

Odds and Ends
6:20am

For those of you who are curious, no I did not participate in the anti-war protest on campus yesterday. When I was first asked if I had participated I said "uhhhh, what protest?" However, I was wondering why there were helicopters hovering over the campus yesterday. A helicopter is a sound that is quite foreign around here so when actually only one news chopper is flying around, it sounds REALLY noisy.

You know you either need MORE or LESS medication when you dream Pauly Shore is an artist (and a painter none the less) in your dreams yet there he was. Maybe I need to take up drinking again.

Michael Flatly, Lord of the Prance, was charged with rape! I always somehow assumed he had the same genitalia as a Ken doll. Guess I was wrong.

New Mexico is thinking about entering the 20th century as it considers banning cockfighting. I'm so ashamed to live in one of 2 states (the other is Louisiana) that allows cockfighting. To quote the local news story, "cockfighting proponents argue it's an important part of Hispanic culture and provides much-needed income for rural families." I think I'm going to be sick.

Well, the dentist thinks I need a root canal...my biggest nightmare come true. I got the news Monday but couldn't even talk about it until now. If you are a regular reader, you know I'm a dental-phobic. In fact, the only thing that got me to go to the dentist recently after a 10 year "chickening-out" of going was the fear that if I didn't go soon I'd need a root canal and now it looks like I'll need one anyway. The specialist I went to was not convinced I'd need one immediately. He said to come back in 2 months and we'd reassess the situation.

If I can just make it through next week, things will get a little easier as my spring break starts Thursday March 13th and we will be going to Las Vegas for a few days! WOOHOO!!!!!

More Stuff
5:57pm

Well, we have tickets to see the B52's next Thursday. It should be a ball. Planet Claire, Dance This Mess Around, Private Idaho, Channel Z…brings back a lot of memories. Then in April we have tickets for Ani DiFranco's solo tour. It's nice to have things to look forward to.

I get to teach the big scary class of 600 about Confucius tomorrow. I wanna do it, but it's still a bit frightening.

I'm REALLY going to work on my Graduate school application tonight so if you see me online (Yahoo name JemJamm) you have permission to yell at me and tell me to get back to writing my personal statement.

We're going to go out for Indian food later. Yay!

Continued
10:08am

Damn I'm tired. I feel like I haven't slept in days. Today's update is that the oncologist told my bro that his cancer is so far advanced, it's not worth fighting. The choice is ultimately up to him however but the oncologist painted a pretty grim picture. He's still on the BP meds, which is not a good sign. He'll stay in the hospital until they can get rid of the pneumonia.

While I'm gonna go to work for a couple of hours, I'm gonna take a mental health day for most of the day today. I need it.

Oh, Brother
4:39pm

Well, my brother was found comatose yesterday when my sister came to get him for his doctor's appt. He's in the ICU on meds that keep his BP high enough to keep him alive. However, the drug damages your kidneys. Last night he was on 7X the safe limit of the drug. He's now only on 2X the safe limit. We won't know for about 24 hours whether or not he has kidney damage. Sound like fun? I got to work ok, then broke down in my professor's office. It's funny how I think I have it all under control then everything falls apart.

FYI Update
1:08pm

I reported the woman who told me the racist joke last week to her district manager. Now, do I dare go back there? Are they gonna spit in my tea?

Just Stuff
12:45am

Gotta go to the dentist later this morning for more fillings. Waaaahhh!

Got 204 pieces of email in about 30 hours. 196 of them were spam. That means I'm getting about 100 pieces of spam a day. Therefore, I've taken my email off of this site commpletely and am in the process of putting my email NOWHERE.

Deadline for Graduate School is in 2 weeks. Gotta get my ass in gear and get that application done. Actually, it's mostly done but I need to write a "personal statement." WTF am I supposed to say in that? Argh, I dunno.

I got a postponement on my call to jury duty. I have nothing against serving on a jury, but I don't want it to interfere with my schoolwork, which it undoubtedly would if I started serving today, like I was supposed to. Anyway, now I go in June, which works out great.

Well, the kitties survived their weekend all alone but now they all want to sit on my lap. I'm actually going to go to bed now so they can all pig pile on me. Ahhhh, my own bed. The bed at my in-laws SUCKS! There have been mornings when I've felt crippled from sleeping on their spare bed.

Flying Home
4:30pm

I am flying home on Southwest from Salt Lake City and I make sure I get to the airport an hour beforehand and find out I'm in the last boarding group. As I REALLY don't want to sit in a middle seat, I go immediately to the gate and sit on the floor for 45 minutes in the C boarding group area. I get on the plane and get a nice aisle seat and settle in for the flight. About 10 minutes later, a woman standing in the aisle asks me if I'm traveling alone. I tell her yes and she asks me if I will sit in the middle seat across the aisle from where I am so she and her husband can sit together. I tell her "I didn't get to the airport an hour ahead of time and sit on the goddamn floor so that I can sit in a middle seat so you can stroll on the fricken plane late and take my aisle seat!" - in my head. In reality I tell her I won't sit in the middle seat because I have the stomach flu and have to have an aisle seat for easy access. I'm sure she thought I was a bitch extraordinaire but tough shit! She should have gotten there earlier if she wanted to sit with her beloved. Personally, I think she had some nerve to ask me to sit where she didn't want to. Gah.

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