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Soap Box Tuesday, march 30, 2004 It's That Time Again Guess what's come out of hibernation? Lizards! How do I know that? Because one of our cats, Suzie, just brought a live one in the house. Then what, you ask? Her big brother decided HE wanted the lizard and grabbed it off the floor in front of her then starting growling loudly while carrying the lizard around in his mouth. Last I saw he had it in his mouth near my shoes! I swear, if I put my shoes on later today to go to school and there's a lizard in there, I am gonna freak out! Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to try to get that lizard out of the house in one piece. Monday, march 29, 2004 Well I Never! I never thought that I'd live to see the day
when $12 of gas would only fill my gas tank half way! What's up with
that? And gas is relatively cheap here. I think I paid $1.61/gal today.
And I drive a Mazda protegé, not some SVU or HumVee or whatever.
That's just crazy talk. Saturday, march 27, 2004 Why, Michelle, Why? There's quite a controversy at this year's World Figure Skating Championship. During the Ladies Short Program, Michelle Kwan's program came in at 2:42, two seconds over the 2:40 time limit. What's interesting is that this is the same routine she's been using for over a year and she's never been clocked over before but this year in Germany, she was given the requisite deduction of 0.1 off of all her technical and presentation marks dropping her to 4th place after the short. The US Figure Skating Association protested but to no avail. Apparently her music is actually 2:40 exactly but the time measurements are from when the skater first moves until she comes to a complete stop. You would think an artist of her caliber would build in a little cushion there instead of cutting it so close. In case you want to know the final standings before the competition is on ABC tonight I'll tell you. If you don't want to know, stop reading now. Michelle makes it to the podium in third place. Sasha Cohen, first after the short program screws up a jump and falls to second. Shizuka Arakawa (who?) from Japan wins the overall competition. Remember the huge media created rivalry between Michelle
and Irina Slutskaya? Well Slutskaya came in 9th. Apparently she's got
some sort of heart disease and skating is now REALLY painful for her.
That's a sucky way to end a career. Friday, march 26, 2004 How Lazy Can You Get? I'm feeling soooooo lazy. How lazy? We're on our last
roll of toilet paper because I'm too lazy to go get more and we still
have tissues and napkins. I fed the last can of cat food to the cats
tonight. I think they will start nibbling on me in the morning as I
will have no canned food to give them. While I've done about 4 loads
of laundry, none of it is folded and it is spilling out of the laundry
basket back onto the floor so it will probably need to be washed again
before it can be worn. Today is payday and thank God I have direct pay
or who knows how long it would take me to deposit my paycheck. Ugh...that's
pretty lazy huh? Thursday, march 25, 2004 Good Luck! Whitney Houston checked herself out of drug rehab after 5 days. She stated something about feeling "closed in" at the rehab center and will instead rent a place near her home and continue her treatment on her own. Good luck lady! Once you're addicted, it's damn hard to break that habit on your own. Meanwhile, her husband, Bobby Brown, appeared in a Massachusetts court room without his wife to address charges that he hasn't paid child support for 2 children he fathered prior to his marriage. His daughter with Whitney is staying with relatives. For the child's sake (named Bobbi, after her
father obviously) I hope they get their shit together. Otherwise, I
fear Bobbi will be able to write a tell-all book that will make Mommie
Dearest look like a fairy tale. I Wonder... As I live in a state with approximately 43% hispanic population, most of them of Mexican descent, I'm very curious how Disney's new movie The Alamo will be received here. From the previews it's another "Americans are great! We shure kicked some <insert ethnicity here> butt!" In this case, the ethnicity is Tejano. I know personally I would prefer not to watch a movie in which my ethnicity is portrayed as the bad guys with thousands of troops losing to some rebels with far fewer men. Should be interesting. PS: mike, "shure" is intentionally misspelled ;) Tuesday, march 23, 2004 Miscellaneous Stuff OK, I think I'm done with the bad jokes for a while but I reserve the right to tell the joke about the string who walks into a bar at a later date. Guess what the latest TV show is to be turned into a movie? The Love Boat. The fucking Love Boat! It sucked as a TV show. Who the hell green lighted this? Whatever they are smoking, pass it over! One county in Oregon has decided to stop all weddings, gay and straight, until it's decided what, exactly, is legal. States the County Commissioner, ""we need to treat everyone in our county equally." Well, that's nice to hear for once! A Brazilian minister dropped
dead of a heart attack while watching the Passion. The minister
was only 43 years old! Hmmm...that's #2. I wonder if Mel feels guilty.
Monday, march 22, 2004 Favorite Jokes 3 & 4 Version 1 (and yes it's a big groaner):
(Get it? Common-tater?) Bwaaaahahahahahahah! Version 2 (and no it doesn't get any better):
(Get it? Dick-tater?) Bwaaaahahahahahahah! Suicide is Painless Let's get one thing clear: SSRI anti-depressants
do not cause suicide. Yes, the FDA wants such a label on SSRIs and here's
why. When you are at the very depths of a depression, you don't kill
yourself because, honestly, it just takes too much effort! When people
consider killing themselves is when they start climbing out of depression,
when they have a little more energy and just getting out of bed does
not seem overwhelming. And when do you start feeling better? After you've
been placed on antidepressants! So if you want to argue the point, yes,
antidepressants indirectly cause suicide since they start lifting you
out of your depression. Does that mean you shouldn't use them? No! This
indirect causality only happens in maybe 5% of cases. Should you watch
a loved one who is going on antidepressants for the first time? Well,
yeah, sounds like a good idea! You should watch any loved one who is
depressed. Common sense people! (BTW, among 25 studies of the suspect
medications involving 4,000 children and teens, there
were no completed suicides.) Saturday, march 20, 2004 Favorite Joke #2 You gotta read this one out loud to get it. Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was a salted. (Get it? Assaulted?) Bwaaaahahahaha! Friday, march 19, 2004 He's At It Again Bush praised a man's release from prison in a speech about International Women's Week:
QUACK! I've always known Dr. Phil is a quack and now I have proof! I took this directly off of the Dr. Phil web site:
Is not necessarily created or approved by a certified
mental health professional? If you go to a web site with the name and
photograph of a psychologist, don't you think people will assume the
material there was at least passed by Dr. Phil and he approved it? Of
course! So here people are thinking they are reading legitimate health
care information but in fact they are reading some pap meant to entertain
them, not help them. What a fricken fraud! He seriously should have
is license taken away, if he has one. Favorite Joke #1 I thought I'd share some of my favorite (albeit dumb) jokes so here is #1: Q: How do crabs leave the hospital? A: On crotches! Bwaaaahahahahahahahaha! Thursday, march 18, 2004 Best Rant of the Day From What the Eff?
OMG, I'm gonna be laughing over that one for days. Vegas Baby Yeah! I had such a great time in Vegas. Lost money, ate
all kinds of things I normally don't (like filet mignon and milk shakes...not
together), bathed every day in a great big bathtub that could easily
fit 4 adults, went to a gentlemen's club where they had "all natural"
dancers and slept not nearly enough. Ergo I've slept all day today and
will prolly sleep all day tomorrow. Ahhhh, vacations rock. Wednesday, march 17, 2004 Change is Afoot
I am going to make a prediction. The Bush campaign
is going to make some cockamamie claim that a vote for Kerry is a vote
for al-Qaida." Don't let the bad guys win! Viva Bush!" Gag
me. Quick Update Just got home from a quick vacation in Las Vegas where I lost a lot of money but had a great time. In other news, I got into grad school! WOOOHOOO! Saturday, march 13, 2004 I Survived! After an hour and half breakfast/orientation, 2 one hour interviews with faculty, an hour and a half lunch with my prospective mentor, a tour of the MIND Institute, attending a graduate level class, another hour long interview with another faculty member, a quick trip home to change clothes, then a 3.5 hour cocktail hour/dinner, I came home totally exhausted from my grad school interviewing process. What's amazing is that most students do SEVERAL of these when applying. Shit man! One wore me out! And I didn't even have to travel more than 10 miles down the road to get there! I've been sleeping on and off all day. So, I'm still a prospective grad student and I don't know when I'm gonna hear actually. At least I have the week off from school! Yay me! In other news, there is no other news. Have a great
weekend everyone! :) Spring Break! Thursday, march 11, 2004 In a Nutshell... Work is sucking. Ugh. I have a 12 hour interview for grad school tomorrow. Eek! My copy of Futurama Volume 3 is here! YAY!!! All in all, a positive day, thanks to Futurama. Wednesday, march 10, 2004 Linkies For You Reason number 347 why I'm not having children. Mickey D's salads have more fat than their cheeseburgers. Tuesday, march 9, 2004 Odds & Ends Ahhhh, so much going on! You know that really bad American Idol guy who sang "She Bangs"? Well, he's got a record contract! Someone called him the new Elvis. Whaaaaaat? Remember the character Eldon from Murphy Brown? Well the actor, Robert Pastorelli was found dead in his apartment. It looks like a suicide but that is not definite. He was only 49. Also, actor Paul Winfield died Sunday of a heart attack. He was 62. Spaulding Gray's body was pulled out of the East River on Sunday. He had been missing for 2 months. The DC Sniper got the death sentence today. While I'm not a fan of the death sentence, it is probably warranted in this case. I mean, it's not like you're gonna rehabilitate someone who killed people at random. Kinda scary that someone thought that random killing would be fun. Unless you ever lived in Boston, you have no idea how rabid the Red Sox fans are. However, I found an article, entitled, In Boston, the Yankees Always Suck which is both hysterical and gives you a pretty clear idea how crazy those Sox fans are. Definitely worth reading. Interesting study just came out. It claims that the young adults who pledge to be celibate until marriage are less likely to use condoms! Wow! "It's difficult to simultaneously prepare for sex and say you're not going to have sex," said Peter Bearman, the chair of Columbia University's Department of Sociology. In the end, their rate of STDs are not significantly different from those who are not abstinent pre-marriage. There's something to think about. It's nice and warm here! Yay! Sandals weather finally! :) monday, march 8, 2004 Word or Not
Answer Faquit is NOT a word, except for in my head. There, it means, "fuck it, I quit!" and it is dedicated to SwirlSpice who hates her job. All of the definitions you guys posted were great but I think I'm going to have to give the award for best fake definition to Lynn: t's one of those clear patch things that you slap on your arm so that you can (with a little willpower as well) stop compulsively reading FAQs on people's sites. Thanks all for playing! :) Saturday, march 6, 2004 Word or Not? It's time for the blog game you're tired of, Word or Not? Here's how it works: I post a word. You guess if it's a real word or not. If you think it's really a word, post what you think the definition is. If it is a word and you know it's a word, please do not post the definition. However, if you want to place a fictional definition for our amusement, please feel free. I will post the answer in a couple of days if anyone bothers to play. Today's word is faquit. Is faquit a real word? What does it mean? Thursday, march 4, 2004 Bruhaha There seems to be a bit of a bruhaha around the Bush campaign's first TV ads, as they use images from Ground Zero and of firefighters carrying one of their own on a flag draped stretcher. Many relatives of the victims of 9/11 are outraged that the site of their loved ones death is being used in a political ad while more than one firefighter's union is requesting the ads be withdrawn. They don't want images of one of their own who fell in the line of duty paraded around the airwaves for Bush's political gain. I went over to the Bush
web site to check out the ads for myself but, alas, you need to
use Commercials That Drive Me Crazy There are some REALLY annoying commercials out there these days but truly, the ones listed below should all win an award for most obnoxious and then BURNED! Direct TV commercial "Who Let the Pigs Out?" Yes, they use the actual song with edited lyrics. Meanwhile a bunch of pigs run around taking money out of people's homes. To be honest, I'm not sure it's Direct TV because I change the channel as soon as the commercial comes on. I just know it's anti-cable TV. Anti-drug ad where the parents take turns yelling "IT'S JUST A LITTLE POT!" the slamming their daughter's bedroom door. I'm assuming it's their daughter's bedroom. Either that or they have a rather effeminate son. There's one for either some gum or mints where a young man is waiting for his date. The date's big slobbery dog smells the guy's breath and jumps on him kissing him voraciously. This is disturbing in so many ways, I can't even begin. Quiznos Subs. WTF are those things? I know they started on the internet along with the rockin' kittens but why are these things singing about sub? They certainly are not cute and they are kinda creepy. Should they really be selling food? Maybe they could be an illustration of a hemorrhoid or gingivitis or something. Laila Ali boxing her own father? This might
be for Nike, but once again, I turn it off as soon as it comes on. Can
someone say Oedipus complex? Wednesday, march 3, 2004 Justice Texas Style An admitted child molester has decided
to be castrated to help stop his urges. The man is currently in
prison in Texas and as best as I can figure out, the prison system is
doing the surgery. Texas is the only state that allows the surgery.
I say all rapists and molesters should have the surgery, but no one
asked me. Tuesday, march 2, 2004 Linkie Here are a couple of links for ya. One is about how Jesus wants to take back artistic control of his image in films. The other about a strange phenomenon where Japanese young adults look for others via the internet to commit suicide with. Word or Not Answer Fantod is a real word. Fantod: noun - 1 a:a state
of irritability and tension b:FIDGETS Winner for best made-up definition goes to Nick: the hyper-aroused state that Odd Todd gets into, after he's had a few coffee's, and is indulging in his favorite pasttime (i.e. strip clubs). Monday, march 1, 2004 $10,000 Anyone? Garry Trudeau, author of Doonesbury, has
offered $10,000 to anyone who can prove Bush served his time in
the National Guard. Within the past week, he's had 1300 inquiries but
no one with real proof that Bush served in Alabama in 1973, when on
Democrat claimed he was AWOL. You'd think if he were actually there,
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Blog Name: The Soap Box
Jen's
tattoos
2004
2003
B6 d++ t++ k s u-- f+ i o+ x-- e- l+ c+
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