The Soap Box
A place for me to dump my brain and you to pick thru it


Monday, May 31, 2004

The Greatest Love Story Never Told
12:09pm

Once upon a time (ok, it was around 1942) a young Irish lass from Kansas met a cocky fly boy. It was one of those "love at first sight" things. The young 20-somethings were infatuated with each other but Mr. Fly Boy had to flitter away to fulfill his duties in the Air Force. Nine months later, Mr. Fly Boy came home and looked up the young woman. Again, they had a wonderful time together but it was all too short. Mr. Fly Boy asked if he could call upon the Irish lass when he returned again. She said he could, but she might not be available. Fly Boy was crestfallen and confused. Didn't they just have a wonderful time? Wasn't she as smitten with him as he was with her? She elaborated by stating, "If you want to be with me, you'd better marry me right now. I don't want to wait!" And so he did.

During WWII, Fly Boy was easily one of the best pilots and it's probably this fact that kept him alive as he needed all his skills to fly planes riddled with bullet holes or missing components. He was shot down more than once but came home in one piece. He and Irish Lass traveled a bit as he remained in the Air Force but wherever they were together was home. He went on to fly experimental planes for the AF and she took care of their only child, a daughter.

The happy home was rocked in the 1980's when Irish Lass was diagnosed with terminal, inoperable cancer. She was given only 6 months to live. The doctors gave up on her but she didn't. She traveled the east coast of the US looking for people to help her. She stuck to a strict macrobiotic diet. She took experimental medicines and she kept on going. Fly Boy did every thing he could to care for the love of his life. He drove her to appointments, some hundreds of miles away. He nursed her after chemotherapy appointments. He took care of the house, did the chores that she had done for years. And she kept on going...past the six month mark, past the one year mark, past the two year mark...past the 15 year mark, past the 20 year mark! The cancer was not in remission. It had by this time metastasized in her bones. She lived with pain every day, but she lived.

Fly Boy, by this time, began getting more and more forgetful. There were times when he didn't know where he was. This time it was he who was diagnosed with something terrible. It was Alzheimer's. This time, she became the caretaker. She was the one who did everything for him. She made up notes that she put out every night so that when her husband would get up in the morning he would be less confused as to where he was and what he was supposed to do. The notes were simple. Things like "If you are hungry there is cereal in the left cupboard. I love you." or "I am your wife. I am in the bedroom if you need me. I love you."

As is always the case with Alzheimer's, he continued to deteriorate. One night he got up to go to the bathroom and somehow was convinced that Irish Lass was in the hospital. He got in the car in the dead of night and drove to the closest hospital to look for his wife. Irish Lass was awakened by a phone call that her husband was at the hopital looking for her. She was able to convince him over the phone that she was fine and to drive home. That was the last night she got a full night's sleep. Now, even while he slept, she felt she had to remain vigilant so that he did not leave the house by himself while she slept.

Fly Boy became sick and had to have surgery on his prostate. He returned home after the surgery but was incapable of taking care of himself. Irish Lass now had a hospital bed placed in the living room and cat napped in a chair next to the bed. She fed him and bathed him and changed his diapers. She missed a crucial chemotherapy appointment to be with him. Finally, it was too much and she called hospice to see if someone could come a few hours a couple of times a week to help her. When the hospice worker came to the house to evaluate Irish Lass's needs, the hospice worker broke down and cried. If the hospice worker had had her way, both of them would have entered the hospice full time. As it was, they admitted Fly Boy to the hospice and informed Irish Lass he was much more sick than she realized. His organs were shutting down. He had a lesion in his prostate. Two of his heart valves were failing. By this time, all Irish Lass knew was taking care of the man who loved her so and that she loved back. She found an arm chair in the solarium at the hospice and slept there while her beloved lay dying. Even though the Alzheimer's had ravaged his brain, he still had his lucid moments in the hospice when he'd look at his now aged and sick bride and tell her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her. Less than a week upon entering the hospice, Fly Boy died peacefully in his sleep.

Irish Lass is my great-aunt; my grandmother's youngest sister. The love of her life passed away yesterday, one day short of Memorial Day. When I talked to her today, she said, "We had our ups and our downs but I honestly don't remember any bad times. He took care of my so well when I was diagnosed with cancer. He never complained. I had to do everything I could for him." We've known for years that she hasn't given in to the cancer because she felt she needed to take care of her husband. We fear that now that he's gone, she will also go quickly. Grief does terrible things to one's immune system. If her time does come soon, so be it. During her life, she had one of the greatest gifts anyone can have, one great love who treasured her and whom she treasured.

I named this post The Greatest Love Story Never Told because I know I could never capture how much these two meant to each other. You knew it though when you saw them together. I visited them less than two years ago. He had no idea who I was or who my mother was but when he saw his Irish Lass, he smiled broadly and looked all moon-eyed at her, as if she were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. And even though he was no longer the sparkling clever Fly Boy she had met all those years ago, she still loved him like no other. Their relationship was a rare one, one that I hope you, dear Reader, will have the fortune of experiencing in your lifetime.


Sunday, May 30, 2004

Get Over It
12:27pm

A former boyfriend and/or former bodyguard of Madonna brought forth a lawsuit against some asswipe because his picture is in a book about Madonna and the caption under the picture identifies him as gay. Get over it people! Being called gay is not an insult, regardless if you are gay or straight! As far as I'm concerned, you can call me gay, straight, bi, asexual, whatever because in the end the only person who needs to know my preference is the person(s) with whom I am sexually active. Whenever someone thinks they are insulting me by saying I'm gay my response is always, "Yeah, so what?" Let them think what they want. It really makes no difference to me. And while you're at it stop labeling me altogether. By placing labels on me, you make me seem less than what I am, thankyouverymuch. I don't think I'll ever understand the need for people to know others' sexual orientation.

The other thing that is completely baffling to me is that in our culture EVERYONE is either gay or straight. Bisexuality never is an option. Look at Ann Heche. She's gay when she's with Ellen Degeneres and she's straight when she's with a man. Same with Julie Cypher who was with Melissa Etheridge for years. Prior to meeting Melissa, she was married to Lou Diamond Phillips, so she was straight. When with Melissa, she was gay. Now she's straight again, "thank goodness."

Guess what people? Sexuality is a spectrum, not a dichotomy. Those with heterosexual tendencies are taught, culturally, to look for a mate of the opposite sex but wouldn't it be a fascinating cultural study if we were allowed to be attracted to whomever regardless of gender? We are taught 90% of human beings are straight and 10% are gay. I contend that if 10% are strictly gay, there are probably only 10% that are strictly straight with the other 80% somewhere else on the spectrum. Now a bunch of you are thinking, "No way! I could never go for someone the same gender as me!" Yeah, that's because you've been taught to think that way. C'mon, there's no one of your gender that you wouldn't kick out of bed? Angelina Jolie? Brad Pitt? Patrick Stewart? Isabella Rosseilini? If you still say, "No way man. That's sick." then chances are you're kidding yourself.

Getting back to the jackass who sued for being called gay, the judge threw the case out of court stating that being called gay is not libelous or slander. WTG Judge Lady! You tell 'em!


Saturday, May 29, 2004

Irony?
12:03pm

Remember Pat Tillman? He was the Arizona Cardinals player who left the team and a very lucrative contract to join the US Armed Forces to fight in Iraq who then died there? Well, it has come out today that he was, in fact, killed by friendly fire. Yes, the football player who so believed in his country that he left a new bride and a $3.6 million contract was shot down by his brothers-in-arms. That just sucks. Let that be a lesson to you kids. You don't have to only watch out for the enemy, you gotta watch out for the guys on your own side!


Friday, May 28, 2004

Someone Call 9-1-1!
12:03am

The Australian distributor for Michael Moore's new flick, Fahrenheit 9/11, has received threatening emails from the US. Apparently they were told to release the film in Oz at their "own peril." However, the emails stopped when the distributor, Hopscotch, contacted (OMG I kid you not) AOL and asked them to track down the offending author(s). HELLO? Sending threatening emails from an AOL account? How dumb can you be? Ooooh! I'm scared! I got a threatening email from an AOL account! We better get into the witness protection program or something, quick!


Thursday, May 27, 2004

Winning Haiku
12:33am

While all the Haikus were very good and all interesting, the winning Haiku comes from pad:

Dominican town
Flooded off face of island;
why don't we care more?

pad, email me with your snail-mail addy and I'll send you out a CD ASAP!


Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Who Says the French Don't Have a Sense of Humor?
5:12pm

While visiting the French Open web site, I stumbled across the following picture. Click it to see the whole image.

In other tennis news, there are no more American men left in the French Open! Not even Andy Roddick! Sheesh! Luckily the US women are faring much better!


Haiku Day Today
7:45am

Write me a Haiku about something currently in the news and you may win a fabulous music CD! That's all there is to it. One Haiku per person please so make it a good one!


Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Catholic Childhood Revisited
1:42pm

I haven't really talked about my religious upbringing here before but something has come up to make me reminisce a little, for better or for worse. The only Catholic church I belonged to is closing as part of the Boston Archdiocese shutting down and selling the land of 60 parishes (they need the money to pay off all those victims of abuse). It's St. Jerome's in Arlington, MA.The place left an impression on me, as I have a lot of memories of that church, both good and bad.

I can't say I remember being baptized there but I was. I do remember clearly my first communion. All the girls were dressed in new white dresses. I was jealous when I saw some of the other girls had veils. I wanted a veil too! I didn't understand at the age of 8 that we were dressed as brides of Christ. In hindsight, there is something very wrong with 8 year old girls dressing as brides of Christ in a sacred ceremony but I won't go there...oops, I already did.

I went to church every Sunday...every Sunday my mom could get me to go. I can't say I ever really enjoyed it. And that HUGE scary crucifix with an emaciated Jesus on it kinda scared me. I mean, ewwww! I never understood why there was a tortured practically naked man nailed to a cross, dying, life size, on the back of the church. I mean, I knew it was Jesus and he died for my sins, as I was reminded weekly, but why did we have to look at him bloody and dying?

Anyway, when I did go to church, I always took communion, the old fashioned style, where the priest actually put the wafer on your tongue. My mother didn't and this puzzled me. I remember asking her one day in church why she didn't. She told me she wasn't allowed because she was divorced and she was lucky she hadn't been excommunicated. What this meant to me as a 9 or 10 year old is that the church thought my mom was a bad person for being divorced. This infuriated me! I was fiercely loyal to my mom and I resented the church deciding my mom was a bad person. That was the beginning of the end of attending church for me. I didn't want to be in a place that made such decisions without really knowing the person. Who were they to decide my mom was not worthy? I mean, wasn't that something only God could do? And weren't we taught that we would be forgiven our sins if we confessed? It all didn't add up for me. I remember at some point after this my mom threatening to leave for church without me if I wasn't ready in like 30 seconds. Phew, I thought! Here's a way to avoid going altogether! I told her to go ahead and go without me. Well, that was the wrong answer. She didn't leave without me. And here I thought I had found an out.

The good memories of the church mostly had to do with a priest named Father Kremmel. He was so much fun and seemed to really enjoy his work. For midnight mass on Christmas eve one year he performed magic tricks to get across the idea of miracles. I remember once him lecturing from the top of the ladder, although what the lecture was about has escaped me. He was younger and way cooler than old grumpy Father Dunn. And then one Sunday, Father Kremmel wasn't there. It was on the bulletin that he would be doing mass but he was nowhere to be found. I later found out he was assigned to another parish...very quickly...and quietly. When the whole abuse scandal broke, I couldn't help thinking that maybe that's why Father Kremmel left so fast. I have looked for his names on the lists of those accused but have never found it and I hope that is not why he left but I can't help but wonder. If anyone reading this has any info regarding this topic and Father Kremmel please let me know.

With the combination of the church's condemnation of my mother and the sudden disappearance of Father Kremmel, there was no real reason for me to go to church anymore. My mom gave up making me go around the fifth grade. We would still occasionally go on religious holidays but it was more out of a feeling it was something you were supposed to do rather than something we wanted to do, at least for me.

And now St. Jerome's is being closed for good. It's another part of my childhood gone forever. Regardless of how I feel about the Catholic church, I hate to see that little church torn down. It was right off Route 2 and I drove by it repeatedly for years and years. Somehow it was comforting that it was there. I'm not sure why.

Regardless of the denomination, to me sacred space is sacred space. I can't help but wonder what will become of the stations-of-the-cross stained glass windows. Surely they won't just be thrown away! Is there a ceremony to make the site secular again or does it resort to secularity by the act of no one recognizing that it was a house of God for decades? I can deal with the church closing but I'm gonna cry if I pass by it some day and find a Kwickie Mart has sprung up on the same site where I learned about miracles from a young man who dedicated his life to God.


Start the Bidding War!
7:34am

Don't ask how I found it but it's a classic!

Bid early and bid often.


Haiku Day
6:33am

I declare tomorrow Haiku Day on my blog. Write the best haiku about something in the news and win a Sampler CD by my husband's band! I thought I'd do a warm up today:

Stanley Cup finals
Starting at the end of May?
Ice should be melted.


Monday, May 24, 2004

What?
2:02pm

Andre Agassi was beaten in the first round of the French Open today. He was playing a no-namer whose professional record was boosted to 1-0 with the win. Yikes! Hey Andre, keep your chin up! I know you've got some good years left in you. And we're counting on you to represent the US in the Olympics in just a few months!


Almost Famous II
1:57am

I must append my Almost famous post from earlier this month with the following 3 actors/actresses:

Hank Azaria: From The Simpsons to Bird Cage to American Sweethearts, Hank makes the most out of every role.
Cherry Jones: She's one that you've seen before but you don't know who she is. However, now that I've figured out who she is I will continue to look for her in upcoming projects.
Laura Linney: She was fabulous in You Can Count on Me, a movie that has really stayed with me.

You can find the first two in Cradle Will Rock, which I saw this weekend. It was one of those DVDs I bought over a year ago but finally just got around to watching. It was historically interesting with an awesome cast. Check it out some time.


Sunday, May 23, 2004

Search Me
8:23pm

I haven't really been looking at the keyphrases used on search engines that bring strangers to my site so why don't we take a peek now? I'm sure there have got to be some good ones there...ah...like these:

matthew bennett cactus fat - I don't think cactuses have any fat.
jen bennett smells - gee, sorry! I do shower daily.
make him say anything you want - that's easy! Just get down on your knees and...
how to get rid of lizard in your home and yard - I'll rent you one of my cats.
making meth in a fishtank - I have no idea and step away from my fish tank.
naked birthday cake butt smashing - what a waste of perfectly good cake!
definition of dysfunctional family - it's one of those thing that if you have to ask, your family is probably dysfunctional.
multiple choice questions plastic surgery - Do you want more? Do you want less? Do you want to throw up?
sagging boobs comedy - there is NOTHING funny about sagging boobs!
how much does jen smell - have I blogged repeatedly about reeking or something?
jeremy piven furry - I wouldn't know, but I'll find out if you want ;)
buy oxycontin in 12 hours money is no object - dude, I think you have a drug problem.
i am naked jen 69 blog - you're at the wrong blog. Try again.


Lofty Goal
2:59pm

(Don't you hate bloggers who don't blog on the weekend? Then I have nothing new to read until Monday. Oops! I forgot to blog yesterday. I'm such a bad blogger.)

If there is a movie that I don't catch in the theater, I tend to just buy in on DVD. I'm terrible at renting movies. I am physically incapable of returning them on time. And for the monthly NetFlix charge, I can buy a new DVD. Then if I don't like it, I can turn around and sell it on eBay.

So then I buy the movie and I think about watching it but I think, "Damn, I got stuff to do! I can't get sucked into a movie" and then I tend to sit on my ass and watch TV for the next 3 hours. The movies stay in their shrink wrap and my brain has lost some cells watching the crap on MTV or the Game Show Network and I have nothing accomplished. I might as well have watched the movie in the first place.

So my goal for this summer is to catch up on all the DVDs I've purchased and not watched. These include:

Adaptation
Bound
The Insider
One Hour Photo
Original Sin
Spun
Titus
Y Tu Mama Tambien
(yes those are in alphabetical order)

I know it's going to be hard work to get through all those movies in 3 months, but I think I can do it. Wish me luck!


Friday, May 21, 2004

New York or Bust
10:19pm

One of my favorite performers, Wayne Brady, is joining the cast of Chicago on Broadway as Billy Flynn, the role played by Richard Gere in the movie. Man, what I wouldn't give to see Wayne on Broadway! What a bad time to be living in New Mexico and starting my graduate program. If someone gets to see him, let me know how he does!

BTW, Wayne won the Emmy for Best Talk Show Host for the second year in a row, regardless of the fact that his show has been canceled...his 3rd TV show of his to be axed. Personally, I think he's much more suited for Broadway, where his talents will be better put to use. Good luck Wayne!


Thursday, May 20, 2004

Yay!
8:34pm

FOX is picking up the show Arrested Development for another season! As this is a very well-written and funny show I was sure they would kill it as soon as possible but to my delight, it will be back in the fall! Yay!


Someone Hates Me
9:48am

The other morning, my neighbor kitty-corner to me was having the concrete in her driveway torn up...with a jack hammer...starting at 9am. No big deal you say? Well, I tend to go to bed around 2am and sleep till 10 or 11 am. I was not happy.

This morning again at 9 am I was awakened by a loud noise. I have NO idea what it was but it was the equivalent of the world's largest jack hammer and it was so loud it was shaking my bed! WTF? What the hell can be used in a residential area that is loud enough to shake someone's bed? I still have no idea what it is but I can guarantee I'm going to be cranky all day because of it. Grrrr...


UPDATE: (12:52pm)
The instrument of noise-producing torture is directly next door and is like a little John Deere earth-moving vehicle to which a jackhammer tipped arm has been attached. Imagine the thing to the right but with a jack hammer tip where the bucket thing is. I think they are almost done...at least I hope so! It's very important I get a nap before I go see Shrek 2 later!   ;)

 


Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Sick
1:05pm

I'm so sick of the killing around the world, specifically in Israel and Iraq. Today's headlines scream of Israelis shooting into crowds of Palestinians and of the US firing into a wedding party, killing over 40, 15 of which were children and 10 women. Were any of the people wanted for crimes? No. Is there any indication at all that these were anything but random acts of violence against an oppressed people? No. Has human life become so cheap that killing a few dozen people half-hazardly means nothing? NO.

I don't think there will be a peaceful solution in Israel in my lifetime. I don't think I'm being pessimistic, I think I'm being realistic. Consider if the UN told us that they were giving all the land east of the Mississippi to the Russians. Would we just accept that and give up our land? Hell no. So why is it assumed the Palestinians should do the same? It's a very complicated and messy issue but random murders are not going to solve anything.

In Iraq, we (meaning the US) have a moral responsibility to take care of the people of Iraq. We went in there, uninvited and wreaked havoc on the entire country. For us to take a helicopter and shoot into a crowd of revelers at a wedding is reprehensible. These poor people who have had to survive without water or electricity are trying to get their life back in order, to bring a little joy into their lives, to live with happiness and dignity and we shoot at them? I am just at a loss as to how we can justify these killings.

We were all appalled at the murders that took place on 9/11. Well, guess what? In my eyes, we are now the terrorists, both in Iraq, and in our unwavering commitment to the Israelis. In order for these atrocities to end, my abe we should take the first step...and not with a gun.


Monday, May 17, 2004

Too Famous
10:18pm

A little while ago, I listed some actors who I thought should be more famous. Tonight it's the opposite: actors who are famous for no known reason...at least not for their acting ability.

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen: They have admitted themselves that the reason they got the gig on Full House when they were babies is because they didn't cry at the audition when a stranger held them. WOW! There's a reason to be famous!

Martin Lawrence: Did anyone think Black Knight or National Security was funny? I thought not.

Keanu Reeves: Granted he was good in Bill and Ted and Parenthood because he played characters close to his own IQ. Stick to what you know Keanu.

Vin Diesel/DMX/Jean Claude Van Dam: have you ever seen more than one of them in a room together? Hmmm?

Any Wayans Brothers: also interchangeable.

Pamela Anderson: Is she known for acting at all? Or just the boobs?

As always, this list could go on forever but I think I'll leave it at those. Feel free to add your own choices in the comments.


Saturday, May 15, 2004

No Thanks, I'm Full
9:59pm

Hungry? How about some meat jello? No? Tarantino trout? Still no? Well then it's heart tissue in zit pus!

Bon apetit!


Two Things Life Has Taught Me Lately
6:53pm

1) You CAN sunburn your lips.

2) Cats can projectile vomit up to 4 feet.

That is all.


Thoughts on Troy
4:20am

I don't think there are any real spoilers but read at your own risk.

So I did see the movie "Troy" and I have the following to say about it:

Someone should tell director Wolfgang Peterson that Priam, the king of Troy, had two daughters and a wife. The only women with any lines in the whole movie are Helen, Hector's wife and a made-up cousin. No Cassandra? C'mon!

I have always heard the name Menalaus pronounced "Men-a-lay-us" or "Men-a-lay-iss" but in this movie it's pronounced "Men-a-louse." Huh?

Could someone tell Peter O'Toole that there is this new invention called cataract surgery? I dunno how that man could see anything.

The Trojan war went on for 10 years, not 2 weeks! I always thought one thing you were supposed to learn from the Trojan war is that war goes on and on and on and you get tired of it but you're kind of painted into a corner. (Hmmm...sounds familiar, no?) However, in this movie, the war does not go on long enough for the made-up cousin to heal a cut on the bridge of her nose she sustains the first day of the war. Ironically, filming the movie took about a year! Saying the film was "inspired" by Homer's poem was very accurate. Using any word stronger than "inspired" would have been laughable.

All-in-all, it was, as Erica says, "Meh." I am part of a pool of readers of Entertainment Weekly that grade movies for the magazine (and then the average of the readers' opinions are published every week in the mag) and I gave it a B-.


Thursday, May 13, 2004

Linkie For You
12:02am

OMG, these are sooo friggin funny! Seriously...in #2, isn't that the same dress Ana Gasteyer wore on SNL as the completely un-hip music teacher? #3 is obviously a pedophile...#4....uh....who exactly is "him"? #5, WTF is on that woman's head? Is it a beaver? It can't possibly be real hair. #6...Extra Sexual Persuasion? Girlfriend, stop magnifying your cleavage. #7...I'm speechless. #8...muy caliente! Izod screams HOT LATINO! #9...dig those argyle socks! And last but not least...a zapping crotch? Man, I hope that outfit was burned!

UPDATE: (2:58am) That link has gone bad in the last couple of hours OF COURSE so I found the covers elsewhere and have recreated the page here.


Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Woo-Fuckin-Hoo!
9:50pm

The class from hell is over! The final only took 2.5 hours and it was terrible. I studied only 4 hours because I didn't give a shit anymore. I figured as long as I got about a 63 on the final I'd still get an A in the course so after studying for less than half the my normal time I just dove in and cursed while wading through 150 multiple choice questions online. Turns out I got a 70 so all is well and the worst class I ever took is now history! Thank God.


Blogger Gets Movie Deal
6:02am

Salam Pax, writer of the blog Where is Raed, will see his blog writings turned into a movie! How cool is that?


Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Actual Conversation in the Post Office This Morning
12:27pm

Old Coot: <pointing at the tattoo on my calf> Did that hurt?
Me: Of course!
Old Coot: <pointing at the same tattoo on my calf> Did that hurt?
Me: Of course!
Old Coot: <pointing at still the same tattoo on my calf> Did that hurt?
Me: Of course it did!
Old Coot: So why did you do it?
Me:<contemplating which of a dozen answers to give> To be different <shrug>
Old Coot: <to couple in line behind him> She's going to regret that when she's 40.
Me: <laughing, walking out> Uh, that's in a year and a half!


Monday, May 10, 2004

Question of the Week
12:27pm

If there were a new radio station starting in your city/town and they were going to play only one artist 24/7 and you got to choose that artist, who would you choose?

My answer is in the comments.


Saturday, May 8, 2004

Mmmmmm...
1:39pm

I am currently, at this very moment, eating the very last chocolate chip muffin ever to be made at my local Einstein's Bagel Bakery. As I mentioned yesterday, they are switching to a lower carb menu which totally sucks ass. So I would just like to say...

Fuck you Atkins dieters! I may be fatter than you but right now I have no doubt that I'm happier eating this delicious fresh muffin.    ;)


Friday, May 7, 2004

Pet Peeve of the Day
12:37am

This fricken low carb thing is going too far! Low carb Special K? Low carb orange juice? Low carb yogurt? I went to my favorite bagel place today for breakfast and they had changed the entire menu to be low carb! I seriously walked out without buying anything. I was so disappointed.

Hey guess what, food makers of America! Not EVERYONE is on the stupid Atkins diet! Gimmee my food unadulterated, carbs and all, thankyouverymuch. I want pasta and fruit and bagels...mmm...bagels...


Wednesday, May 5, 2004

Strange News Stories
10:09pm

Some yokel tripped while he had a nail gun in his hand and ended up with 6 nails in his head and neck! The doctors say it's a miracle he's still alive. You have GOT to click on the link to see the x-ray. It's amazing! I'm still trying to figure out how he nailed himself in the back of his own head 4 times...

A woman in London went into a Woolworth's, bought all of their Mars bars -- all 10,656 of them -- had them packed into her chauffeur driven limousine and drove away! The price for the candy? $3,828. What can you do with 10,000+ candy bars? Hmmm...


Enough Already!
12:17am

The way they are flogging the last episode of Friends, I'm actually looking forward to the damn thing to be over. Today has been declared "Friends-day" with a 2 hour Dateline tonight. The cast is being interviewed by Katie Couric and Matt Whatshisface. Then tomorrow is the over-advertised 2 hour finale. Well guess what? The first 59 minutes is a cheap-ass clip show, so feel free to go watch Survivor. You won't miss anything. The ACTUAL finale starts at 8:59 eastern. Then all your burning questions will be answered, once and for all. And then all the madvertising will be over! Woohoo!

What I actually find interesting is that the cast of Friends will be on Jay Leno tomorrow night. Anyone remember when the cast of Cheers was on Jay after its last show? They were PLASTERED and making asses of themselves. That was the last time a cast was on Jay Leno the same night their last episode was aired. Shall we take bets on whether it happens again?


Tuesday, May 4, 2004

Nice Try
1:26am

In the abnormal psych class that I occasionally help out with, the students can watch certain movies for extra credit such as A Beautiful Mind, Memento or Leaving Las Vegas. For credit, the student have to pass in a one page (typed) paper that includes a movie synopsis, diagnosis, treatment, etc. The papers for this Junior level class were due last week and below is an actual paper someone turned in:

In case you are having trouble reading it, I think it says, "Identity stars John Cusack, brother of Joan. Britney Spears is rumored to have had a social dalliance or two with the former. Identity is about a crazy man. I threw up."

Needless to say, the student did not get credit.


Sunday, May 2, 2004

Almost Famous
1:34am

In the world of Britney Spears and Keanu Reeves, there are many entertainers who are oozing with talent who just don't seem to get the big break. This post is dedicated to those who should be more famous than they are. This list includes:

Téa Leoni: damsel in distress in the original Bad Boys movie and star of the little seen but hilarious Flirting with Disaster.

Steve Zahn: bassist in That Thing You Do, and totally to blame for me ever seeing Forces of Nature. If it weren't for him, i would have missed this bomb entirely.

Maura Tierney: currently seen in ER, formerly of News Radio. She's the reason I saw Insomnia, not Al Pacino or Robin Williams.

Dave Foley: was once part of Kids in the Hall and now makes Will & grace even funnier as Jack's boyfriend.

Jean Reno: while busy as an actor in France, has had only moderate success State-side. You might have seen him in The Professional with a 12 year old Natalie Portman.

Jeremy Piven: seen in several of John Cusack's movies and the ill-fated TV show Cupid but has yet to break out on his own.

This list is in no way exhaustive. There are many struggling actors that are due for a big break. Who's your favorite under-appreciated actor?


Saturday, May 1, 2004

Weekend Fun!
12:53am

There is yet another new penguin game! You do not hit or throw the penguin in this fourth installment. He is carried by albatross as far as possible. It's addictive. Give it a try!

 

 

Basic Info

Blog Name: The Soap Box
Email: jenben[at]g-r-c.com
Introduction

Click for Albuquerque, New Mexico Forecast 

Links

Jen's tattoos
Resume
Movies
Ways to waste time
Flash
Digital art
Poetry
Olympic pictures
Crafty things
Cats

Officiant

Archives

2004

January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December

 

2003

January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December


2002

November
December

Other Blogs

Blogroll Me! 

Where Are You From?

 

 

And Other Stuff

 

 

Weblog Commenting by HaloScan.com

 

 

 

 

B6 d++ t++ k s u-- f+ i o+ x-- e- l+ c+