The Soap Box
A place for me to dump my brain and you to pick thru it

Fun With Google
10:06am

I got an interesting comment from a stranger and I thought you all might want to try a little experiment. Here's what you do. go to your Google search bar or whatever you use to search with Google. Type in "father time." Next click on "images." And there I am! In the midst of all the pictures of old men in beards is me...scantily clad, telling Father Time to fuck off! Pretty funny, huh?

Things That Should Not Be Televised
1:56pm

• Paintball
• Dominoes
• "Full Body" Lifts (or any other plastic surgery for that matter)
• Bender
• Fishing or hunting or anything else that kills/maims animals
• The Simple Life
• Auto Racing
• Bull Riding
• Any fighting that takes place in a cage
• Any vomiting, real or cartoon
• Any reality "remixes" or "rewinds", etc.
• Dating Shows (they are not, and never have been, game shows)
• Rock of Love

2 Minutes and 39 Seconds of Genius
11:18pm

Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg's Dick in a Box was nominated for an Emmy in the category of Outstanding Original Music And Lyrics. Seriously, this is some funny ass stuff and deserves to win something. Unfortunately, up against it are the songs "Guy Love" and "Everything Comes Down to Poo" from the musical episode of Scrubs. Man! That's some tough competition.

Too bad that Justin shot his genius load, as it were, all in one place. It's all downhill for the rest of his life.

More Fun With Side Effects
1:04pm

There's this new drug called Mirapex for restless leg syndrome, whatever that is, and apparently it has some kick-ass side effects. See for yourself:

There have been reports of patients taking certain medications to treat Parkinson’s disease or RLS, including MIRAPEX, that have reported problems with gambling, compulsive eating, and increased sex drive.

WTF? It increases impulsivity to the point of gambling and compulsive eating?And if it's a listed side effect on their web site, it's happened more than once. You know, I can see this drug abused to increase sex drive. Which is all fine and dandy until you have the following side effect:

MIRAPEX may cause you to fall asleep without any warning, even while doing normal daily activities such as driving.

Oopsie! So, after you increase your sex drive and you're driving across town for your 2 am booty call, make sure you don't fall asleep crash your car and die.

Best Quote of the Weekend
11:44pm

I heard this gem while watching an American Next Top Model marathon:

My plastic surgery victim freak of nature

Can you guess who this judge is talking about? Yep, it was Janice Dickenson. Pretty accurate description if you ask me.

Oh Cruel, Cruel World
11:44am

On top of the mono that has relapsed, I'm now supposed to be wearing one of those incredibly lame wrist braces as much as possible including while I sleep! Adding insult to injury (literally) I found my first gray hair last night! Argh! I'm falling apart and an accelerated pace!

Minimum Wage
1:20pm

Have you ever wished you worked some McDonald's job? Some crap job where you didn't need to think? When you went home, you didn't take the job with you...except for the pound of grease absorbed by your clothes? I'd love to, just for a couple of months, have no homework, no research, no depressed clients to worry about. However, I don't wanna stand on my feet for 8 hours a day for $6.80/hr. Plus I'm sure that working at Mickey D's would make me gain about 20 lbs from sampling the fries...you know, just to make sure they are up to par.

History in the Making
11:10am

50 years after Althea Gibson was the first African American to win Wimbledon, Venus Williams won in straight sets, earning equal prize money as the men for the first time. (And in case you are counting, it's her 4th Wimbledon title.) The funny thing is that the sportscasters at Wimbledon have been comparing the two all week. Apparently Ms. Gibson was also lean and lanky, like Venus. The two also grew up in similar atmospheres: one from Compton, one from Harlem. However, as long as Venus has some smarts about her, she won't have to face old age on welfare, like Althea did. See, back in the 50's, there was no prize money. It was only the generosity of others, once they heard of Althea's plight, that got Althea through her golden years. Hopefully, Venus has someone trustworthy looking after her $1.4 million winnings from this Wimbledon tournament alone.

Old
11:27pm

I know I'm getting old because things that used to make sense no longer do...like MTV for example. Or this notice from a music calendar for Albuquerque's weekly free newspaper:

Now I know this would make sense if I were younger but now all I can think of is, "Do I want a trout to host my live music? How exactly does it work? Does he host from inside his aquarium?" Maybe he has a little reverse scuba suit like they had once on Futurama. Whatever.

While I realize I'm too old to understand how a trout hosts live music, I'm OK with it. Actually, to be perfectly honest, I'm too lazy to figure it out and I'm OK with that too.

Quick Notes
7:15pm

Due to a freak shopping related wrist injury, I haven't been able to type much. Besides that, it's been TOO FRICKEN HOT to do anything. It's 101 right now. Anyway, here's what's going on:

• Gas is down to $2.95 here. Yay!
• Been trying to get our roof replaced for a month now. Man, roofers are either slow or completely unreliable. I still don't even have a contract with any of the 3 roofers I contacted. While I am disappointed that we haven't had our typical rains, it does mean that the leak in our ceiling upstairs isn't getting any worse. Seriously, how long does it take to get a new roof?
• I'm teaching a class this month called Issues in Minority Mental Health. There are only 8 students and they all seem really great! They are interested and actually add to discussions and everything.

And that's about all the news to be had from here. I hope everyone has a safe 4th.

Blog Name: The Soap Box
Email: jenben[at]g-r-c.com
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