The Soap Box
A place for me to dump my brain and you to pick thru it

Totally Grossed Out or Too Good To Be True
9:06am

So, there's this FDA approved over-the-counter weight loss pill called alli. Yes, they named their product with a leading lower case letter. I guess so it looks smaller? Anyway, if you go to the website, you will notice something called "treatment effects." They don't spell them out for you unless you click on a separate link for them and basically the treatment effects is ...ummm...uncontrollable bowels. Charming! The following suggestions come directly from their site:

• You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.
• Pick a day to begin taking alli, such as a weekend day so you can stay close to home if you experience a treatment effect.
• You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens. (Because apparently that gassy feeling comes with an oily discharge)

Ummm...wear dark pants and bring a change of clothes to work with you? Holy manhole, Batman. I can't believe people would rather shit themselves than maintain a proper diet. Seriously, folks. Put the DingDong down and step away. EIther that or have fun shitting yourself...or dying of diabetes. Your pick.

Hodge Podge
11:55pm

Not much going on here. Been watching a lot of TV in between dozing in a mono-induced coma and I can tell you that the whole Western Whopper campaign for Burger King is about the most annoying thing ever. Actually, all their ads make me want to NEVER eat there...not that I did before the commercials with that scary clown-like king.

People are already in line to buy an iPhone which do not go on sale until Friday. FRIDAY! Hello? It's a PHONE people. It's not like some sort of life saving drug. One of the things I had to do when I started grad school was be OK without the technological goodies I had grown so used to when working in the multimedia field...mostly because there was no way I could afford them anymore on a grad student salary. I'm really happy I' not all wrapped up in all that jazz anymore. However, I would like a new iBook...

Good News and Bad News
12:42pm

The biopsy on my lady parts from Tuesday came back negative. No cancer! Yay!

The monospot I had yesterday came back positive.

Now, normally a diagnosis of mono would be a bad thing. However, if I have to choose between mono and cancer, I'll take the sleeping sickness, thanks.

Quote of the Day
10:31pm

"500 years of colonialism and you're worried about (the word) 'fuck'?" - Native American author Sherman Alexie after an audience member mumbled something about his choice of language with a child present.

Back on The Wagon
10:26pm

You know, I'm really dealing without sugar really well. What I REALLY want is butter and cheese! Dayam! For the most part, I'm dealing without butter by using olive oil. I've found that olive oil is a great replacement for butter in/on almost everything. However, there really is no substitute for cheese...wonderful cheese. I've always called it food of the gods. What I wouldn't give for a pizza right now.

PS: Why is it 83 degrees at 10:26pm? Ugh.

Off the Wagon
9:51pm

...the detox diet wagon that is. I had a medical procedure done today (don't ask) and afterward I passed out...still on the table in the doctor's office so I was well taken care of. However, when they asked if I wanted something to eat or drink and I answered "I can't tell if I'm hungry or nauseated" they thrust a ginger ale in my hand and told me to drink it...so I did. Then I said "Fuck it. I want an egg sammich." Which I got with bacon and swiss on a challah roll. It was DELICIOUS!

However, I am back on the diet and will trudge on after my little slip.

Gimmee Sugar!
1:33pm

Yesterday I started a detox diet:no preservatives, no caffeine, no dairy, no eggs, no wheat and no SUGAR! I'm only doing it for 7 days to try to get my immune system back on track. Depending on how I feel then, I'll see if I'm going to continue with the diet.

I really thought I would be craving sugar like a banshee by now but I don't. I do, however, have a headache and feel generally crappy. However, from what I understand, this is what happens when a sugar addict goes cold turkey and it should only last from 1-4 days. UGH!

Ganja Cat
1:33pm

Here is what our kitten looks like after some catnip:

Bleh
11:05am

Feeling carpal-tunnel-y. My right forearm is really sore today so I'm going to need to rest it. Prolly will be updating here less frequently until it feels better. Meanwhile, I'm watching Bob Barker's last (maybe) show of The Price is Right. So far, they've given away a $45K Corvette. Sweet!

My Cats Are Weird
11:03pm

Why will my cats eat day-old dead birds and various rodents but they won't eat tuna or scrambled eggs or roasted chicken? Wait...add yogurt Whips to the "will eat" list. Bunch of wierdos.

Gay Pride
10:36pm

This weekend was Albuquerque's Annual Gay Pride Parade. It certainly was on a smaller scale than something you'd see in San Fran, but it was fun nonetheless. Here are some pics for your perusal.

First of all, you can't have a decent party or parade in New Mexico without a Mariachi band.

And let me tell you this parade was very colorful!

I never knew there were male members of the Red Hat Society. Learn something new every day!

And honestly, I'm not sure how to describe this guy, but he was entertaining!

Come On Down
11:08am

Say what you will about Bob Barker, who filmed his last episode (maybe) of The Price Is Right this week, but I gotta give him props for the fact that he got the show to stop giving away fur coats. He also has promoted pet adoption during his many decades of hosting the show. Good job, Bob. Enjoy your (possibly very short) retirement.

Bad Karma
10:22pm

The people who owned my house before me are going to a very special level of hell when their time comes. Not only did they put black wallpaper with flowers on the textured bedroom walls, they fucking GLUED it on with...who knows what? It's not wallpaper paste, I can tell you that. I've spent HOURS today just to remove perhaps 20 sq ft of wallpaper. It's crazy. If I didn't mind retexturing the walls afterward, it would be a lot easier. However, I'm working hard to avoid that. It turns out the "tool" that works best removing the little scraps that hang on to the bitter end is my thumbnail.

Anyway, I'm convinced that you will create very bad karma if you ever GLUE wallpaper over a textured wall.

Strange News Stories
10:52pm

Why would you want to recreate a doomed climb up Mount Everest? Wouldn't it be better to recreate a climb in which the climbers didn't disappear forever?

Only in Albuquerque would a city condemn a hole in the ground. I mean, c'mon. A hole in the ground?

Stressed Chinese parents are giving their kids Ritalin before entrance exams. Ahhh, how thoughtful of them.

Processing
5:36pm

I've been at this conference for the past 3 days and this is the second multicultural/race/ethnicity conference I've attended this year. This is what I've learned:

1) I am sick to death of talking about race and ethnicity with other white people...most of whom do not understand themselves, much less issues that face people of color in this country

2) I still do not know how to start an honest and meaningful conversation about race with people of color, hence repeating the same conversation with white people.

Blog Name: The Soap Box
Email: jenben[at]g-r-c.com
Introduction

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