The Soap Box
A place for me to dump my brain and you to pick thru it

Wednesday, December 25, 2002

Thanks
12:56pm

Thanks to fellow bloggers and readers for all your warm wishes. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday with your loved ones.

As this is my blog and all, I'm taking this opportunity to share a coupla quotes with you:

If you love only those who love you, what reward can you expect? Even the tax-collectors do as much as that. If you greet only your brothers, what is there extraordinary about that? - Gospel According to Matthew

If you do not practice compassion toward your enemy then toward whom can you practice it? - Compendium of Practices, Mahayana Buddhist text

PS: I'm going on vacation for a week and won't be able to post any new entries here. I might hijack mike's blog however, if I can hack into it from Salt Lake City.

Monday, December 23, 2002

Christmas Card Surprise
4:14pm

OK, I just found out via my aunt's christmas card that she found out via a news clipping from HER aunt that my dad was elected mayor of his home town (population 1791) this year! Hello? Could someone inform me of these things before I have to hear them fourth hand? Most families have grapevines, my family has…NOTHING! You'd think my family didn't know how to use phones or something! I swear, I'd find things out faster by carrier pidgeon than I do when relying on my family! I didn't even have any idea he was thinking of running! You know, now that I think of it, I do have a sister that got married without telling her own daughter so I guess it runs in the family.

Amazing Morph
11:52am

Arsenio Hall is turning into Al Sharpton! Check out that hair!

Monday Ramblings
11:25am

In typical New Mexico fashion, the wind is gusting up to 38 MPH, it's snowing and the sun is out. This is one strange state.

For those of you who don't believe in instant karma, I give you Exhibit A: the story of a 17 year old who stole a truck and then was run over by it.

Are socks supposed to mate for life? Mine don't seem to. I have many socks where one of the pair has run off, never to be seen again. The remaining sock seems to have no difficulty mating with whatever is left. They are not a very good role model.

Have you heard the first cloned human is expected to be born this week? I am honestly scared to see what happens with this baby. I recently heard on NPR that early test tube babies have organs that age too quickly and we know that Dolly's clone aged prematurely. If this child ends up only having a life span of 15 years, who is going to explain to this human being that he/she was a scientific experiment and he/she should feel lucky to be alive for as long as he/she was? I do not care to be a fly on the wall for that one.

Sicentists grew mouse-sized human kidneys in mice! WTF? That is just messed up! They are saying what a breakthrough this is for those waiting for kidney transplants. Wow! How much could you drink and not kill your mouse-sized kidney?

If any of you want to know what to get me for the holidays, what I wish more than anything is for someone to go to the gym for me. Won't cost you a thing!

PS: My gums still hurt :(

Saturday, December 21, 2002

Brown Thumb
1:09pm

Never in my life have I had a Christmas Cactus bloom at the right time of the year. However, finally this year I did it! Just look at those beautiful blossoms! I thought I'd share with you my new-found secret of how to make a Christmas Cactus bloom.

1) Put the cactus outside in March.
2) Water it once a month, if you remember.
3) Bring the cactus inside around Thanksgiving and voila! You have a blooming Christmas Cactus.

It's really quite easy!

Friday, December 20, 2002

Paging Dr. Freud…
11:31am

I forgot to mention the dream I had the night before I went to the dentist (Jodi, stop reading now). As I've mentioned before, I'm dental phobic and I think my true feelings came out in this dream. I had to put on this cube shaped helmet; like a space helmet an astronaut would wear, except it was shaped like a cube, not a sphere. The corner came down the middle of my face so that each eye was looking out a different side of the cube. Some sort of gas was going to fill the helmet and eventually kill me. I knew this was going to happen and although I was sad, I was resigned to the fact it was going to happen and just sat there waiting to die. In the end, the gas was too weak to kill me and I didn't die but knew I was going to have to go through the same process again in the future. Freaky or what?

Thursday, December 19, 2002

File Under Miscellaneous
8:20pm

Dentist
Went to the dentist today. Hubby came with me and slept in the waiting room while my teeth were ground down in preparation for crowns and all. It took 3 shots of Novocain to numb my bottom jaw. Now, actually, where I was shot up is more sore than the rest of my mouth. The area of the gingivectomy ain't feeling too good either but 4 ibuprofen later, it's all bearable. I go back on January 6th for the permanent crowns, 4 more fillings and to get 2 fillings replaced then I'm done! Yay!

The Two Towers
We went to Two Towers last night. I thought it would be best to go all the way across town to where it was playing on 5 screens. We got there around 5:50pm and because I'm a moron an optimist, I thought we could get tickets for the 6 or 6:30 or 7pm showing. However, they only had tickets left for the 10:35 showing! How outrageous! We drove all the way back to our side of town, got to the movie theater 4 blocks from our house at 6:15 and got tickets for the next showing at 7:30 that night! That will teach me to be clever.

We ate a quick meal at a diner down the street then returned to the movie theater at 6:50. Waiting for us in the lobby was some bad drumming and members of the local chapter of the Society for Creative Anachronism, all dressed in their half assed medieval garb, fighting with staffs and foils and whatever else was laying around right there in the lobby. It was ridiculous! I won't point out the fact that medieval times actually happened and The Two Towers is fantasy...oh, I just did.

Anyway, the movie was amazing. The CGI was truly impressive and now I can't wait for the next movie! It's gonna be a looooong year.

Interview with...
12:46am

me! mike and I are swapping questions in an attempt to make more interesting blogs than those found when 200 bloggers answer the same Friday 5 questions. Here are his questions and my answers. (Visit his blog to see what I asked him.)

1) why do you blog?
Humble answer: I was surfing around and it seemed like EVERYONE and their uncle had a web site where they were putting forth their opinions on all sorts of issues and I thought, "hey, my opinions are as vaid as anyone else's!" so I started a blog of my own.

Not humble answer: I was surfing around and it seemed like EVERYONE and their uncle had a web site where they were putting forth their opinions on all sorts of issues and I thought, "hey, my opinions are more valid than half these pinheads!" so I started a blog of my own.

2) how did you find out about blogging? what got you started?
Mike's (with a capital M) web site got me started. I thought it was so cool that not only could he put forth his ideas to the world but that people could leave comments and actually have a conversation!

3) do you read/are you read primarily by people you know or people you don't
know? if people you know, has your blogging created any issues with these
people? if people you don't know, is it weird that relative strangers read
about the details of your life?
Could you ask a longer question next time? ;) I am primarily read by strangers and I like it that way. Then I can create any persona I want. I can even pretend like I can actually speak and write a correct English sentence.

4) is your life an open book (or blog,as it were) or are there topics/areas
you do not post about deliberately?
There is a lot I dont write about and a lot of language I try to stay away from. I'm one of thse people that will talk about anything...wait...I'm one of those people that DOES talk about anything and a good chunk of it falls under the category of "too much information" such as female cramps and the like. You get the idea. Also I swear like a sailor! In fact, my husband is ex-Navy because he's the only guy that stand to listen to my constant swearing without flinching. Now, even tho my blog is primarily read by strangers, I know some day my in-laws, who happen to be quite religious, will stumble upon my blog and I don't want to be thrown out of the family, as I am quite fond of the all. So I tend to tone down the language for them and try to keep my bodily functions out of my blog since I know they are only interesting to me.

5) do you ever go back and re-read your old posts?
Yeah I do. I even go back and re-read comments. Comments are the best. I love knowing how people feel about some topic I've written about. Obviously, if I've written about something, it has some interest to me and I like knowing that others are interested too!

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

Real World?
7:40am

It doesn't matter if you watch The Real World on MTV or not. You can still enjoy this week's update on ew.com. Why bother? Because the reporter sees the show for what it is: a ridiculous parody of "real life." Peruse the excerpt below:

Arissa was given a first and final warning, and it seemed to be a wake-up call. She said she needs to be able to walk away from fights, because ''I'm a grown-ass woman.'' I have neither the time nor the column space to get into the many ironies of someone using that terminology to proclaim their maturity.

T-Day and D-Day
12:14am

I'm currently in the third hour of the DVD of Lord of the Rings in preparation for the opening of Two Towers. I've never read the books and Lord of the Rings was a lot to take in the first time. Especially because I ran out to use the bathroom and I came back and the movie was over! Man, that sucked! Anyway, since we are not in the theater, I get to ask hubby, "Who is he? Who's his father? What did he say? What's that thing? What race is that guy?" It's amazing how much I didn't catch the first time. I'm really glad I'm watching it again. I toyed with the idea of seeing the Two Towers at midnight but as it is 3 hours long, I didn't dig the idea of getting out of the theater at 3am. That would severly screw up my sleep cycle for a few days. Anyway, there is a theater across town that has Two Towers starting every 50 minutes. I figure they must be showing it in 4 theaters at least! I'll probably go mid-day.

Tomorrow is D-day...dentist day! I will be getting my 2 crowns, 3 fillings and 2 gingivectomies. Just thinking about it makes my stomach turn. Please, no one tell me how miserable it will be. Just tell me I will live through it and be better for having faced my fears and gotten all the work done. I already know I will be significantly poorer for it.

Hey! Guess what? I got A's in my classes this semester and maintained my 4.0 GPA at UNM! Yay me! :)

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Christmas in the Desert
11:28am

So, how do you get in the Christmas spirit when you have no snow? Strap lights on ANYTHING that isn't moving, apparently. People in Albuquerque are lights crazy! We have everything from the moderately tasteful white icicle lights on a house to the house a block over trimmed totally in blue lights. I guess they want people to think they live at K-mart. We have the light up plastic creche scenes in the yards, complete with Frosty the snowman and Santa. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't remember either Frosty or Santa being at the birth of Jesus. Perhaps that little fact is in one of the lost gospels. Usually, people put in a lot of effort arranging their lights on whatever flora lives in their yards. This includes wrapping your yuccas in red racer lights and the like. However, there is a house down the street where it looks like a giant swallowed strings of lights then puked them on a pine tree.

And then we have the people who write messages in lights on their roofs, I guess to send their wishes for peace and happy holidays to the aliens who can see them from space. Then there's this guy on my street who apparently wants Santa to know where to drop off his new Mercedes. You know that Mercedes is the reason for the season, don't you?

Lastly, we have people who set up projectors and flash images on the side of their house, 10 feet across and 10 feet tall! (I'll try to get a pic for you guys one night this week.) They like turning Christmas into their own personal drive-in message center! It's hysterical! I've NEVER seen anything like it!

There is one house the next town over that used to soooo over-do it with the lights that PNM, our electric company, sent them a cease and desist letter! How much electricity do you gotta be sucking out of the system to power your tacky outdoor light extravaganza for your electric company to tell you to stop?

Ahhhh, the joys of living in the desert.

Monday, December 16, 2002

Music for the Elderly
8:02pm

Does anyone else feel old when the U2 song "Desire" comes on the Classic Rock (aka the Oldies) station? I do. Didn't the album CD "Rattle and Hum" just come out a couple of years ago? I mean Classic Rock is like Led Zepplin and the Beatles and Pink Floyd (the good Pink Floyd, not that Division Bell shit). I guess, to me, Classic Rock should be anything made before the video revolution created by MTV, right? Gah! I'm soooooo old all of a sudden!

What City Are You?
12:56am

Congratulations, you're Boston, the rebel city.
What US city are you? Take the quiz by Girlwithagun.

This is funny because I was born in Boston! Heh. You can take the girl out of the 100% humidity-filled summers, but you can't take the…oh, forget it. 

Link feefed from Betty.

Sunday, December 15, 2002

Movies and Stuff
8:48pm

I saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding today. Yes, I know. I am the last person in America to see the movie. I enjoyed it but am left with one question: who stole John Corbett's upper lip? He used to have one. I remember seeing it in Northern Exposure. I wonder what it's like kissing a guy with no upper lip. Do you hit his teeth?

This is going to be a big movie week. I'll probably see ST:Nemesis on Tuesday, as it is hubby's birthday and seeing a movie on your birthday is a tradition for us. Then Two Towers opens on Wednesday and Gangs of New York opens on Friday! Woohoo! Good thing I'm on vacation.

You know what rocks when the economy is bad? You can get Christmas wrapping paper for 50% off BEFORE Christmas! Yay!

Saturday, December 14, 2002

Ramblings & News
11:01am

Moby was assaulted by three men as he exited a small club in Boston after a recent performance. His assailants punched him in the back and face before fleeing the scene. Come on now. Even I could take on the scrawny Moby. How cowardly for three men to attack him from behind. Give me a break.

And now for the news you've waited years for: Rocky 6 is in pre-production! It will be the story of an aging boxer pulled back in the ring for one last bout! It's so original! It's so exciting! (yawn) It sounds like someone needs some money. Hey, leave a comment as to what the tag line for this movie should be like Rocky 6: 5 Too Many or Rocky 6: King of the Nursing Home!

Have you noticed that certain commercials are only seen during the Christmas season? Like Remington shavers, The Clapper and the Chia Pet. New this year: Chia Scooby and Chia Shaggy. I bet that makes you want to run out to Walmart and pick them up, doesn't it? So, do you think the Chia Pet company goes on a required lay off for 10 months of the year then blows their whole budget on TV ads during December or what?

Do you remember the story of an 8 year old that was kept in a closet in Texas by her mother and step-father? When she was found, she weighed 25 lbs. Well bother her mom and step-father have been sentenced to life in prison! I guess when you have so many cases in Texas, statistically one or two will be correctly judged.

Just a word of warning: packing tape WILL remove skin from your lip. Don't try it. Learn from my mistake of trying to cut the tape with my teeth.

Friday, December 13, 2002

What Is It?
12:36am

It's my cat Suzie playing with her favorite toy, my hair. It's really hard to take a pic when a cat is in your hair...literally!

Thursday, December 12, 2002

Dumb Commercial
1:34pm

Has anyone else seen the commercial for the convertible Beetle where you follow a guy through his day (actually multiple days)? It uses the song "Mr Blue Sky" and at the very end you see the tip of the inside of the convertible top for about a millisecond and that's it! Ummm, shouldn't you show the product you are selling? This fricking commercial makes me crazy. What's the point? Gah! I think I need to go kick some ass down on Madison Avenue.

At the Post Office
1:33am

I was at the post office yesterday; not a fun place this close to Christmas. There was a line and almost a fight between two woman over who was next. The woman in front of me was sending one of her grandkid's a present in a box that once contained beer. For those of you know not knowledgeable on such things, you cannot reuse boxes used for beer, bleach or tobacco unless you completely cover over the name of the product. Why? I have no idea. Anyway, this poor woman had been waiting in line and was just so flustered when she was told she couldn't send the present that was in the beer box. However, I think we possibly have the nicest postal workers in the country! The guy who wasn't working a window got some paper bags and scissors and tape and completely wrapped the woman's box for her! Is that amazing or what? I think it was a Christmas miracle!

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

The Reek of Corn Dogs
7:47pm

I went to my local Hallmark store over the weekend to get some birthday wrapping paper as my hubby's birthday is Dec 17th and all I have is Christmas paper (and for reasons I'm not real clear on, some Hanukkah paper). The Hallmark store is adjoins an Olde Tyme Ice Cream Shoppe, which is no big deal, except for the fact that it reeks of corn dogs which I HATE (hate hate hate!). I really really really HATE the smell of corn dogs, have I mentioned that? Anyway, so I'm wrapping some of hubby's presents while he's out of town and I notice that the wrapping paper I got also reeks of corn dogs! Ugh! Luckily, hubby likes corn dogs...and it's obvious that our cat, Damien, also likes the smell. He crawled right in the bag containing all the wrapping paper and made himself at home! Then, of course, the combination of shiny paper, metallic ribbon and corn dog smell was too much for him as he nearly undid all the wrapping I just spent 30 minutes doing. Gee, thanks Damien. And by the way, I'm not going back to that Hallmark store unless they air the place out.

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

Entertainment News
10:33am

Well, Axl Rose kinda forgot to show up at a concert in Philadelphia and the poor saps waiting for the band weren't told until 2 hours AFTER the 2 opening bands played. So, what do you think happened next? Yup, a riot. Seats were torn out and thrown around, etc. The final outcome is that the infamous Guns N Roses comback tour is cancelled. Boo hoo.

Mel Gibson is getting paid close to $25 mill for the fourth installment of the Mad Max series. Installment #3, Beyond Thunderdome, came out 17 years ago. The new movie is called Fury Road and starts filming next May.

Monday, December 9, 2002

It's the Small Things...
10:22pm

What makes me happy? Seeing this guy in 2 new Joe Boxer ads. As I was pouting about starting another BORING workout on the treadmill at the gym, I saw my favorite scantily clad pitchman dancing around in his boxers on Lifetime. I knew that station had to be good for something! Usually when I'm at the gym, I hate that they constantly have Lifetime on because there's always some movie playing about a woman who gets molested or battered in some way and then as I am never on the treadmill longer than 30 minutes, I never see her triumph in the end, as I know she must, or else the movie wouldn't be on Lifetime. But tonight I was thrilled with every commercial break as I got to see my Joe Boxer hunk 3 times while sweating on the treadmill. Every time he appeared he put a smile on my face and that is something rarely seen at the gym!

Faith in Humanity Restored
3:19pm

Here is the story of how one woman was helped by a member of a huge conglomerate find her way home. It'll make you all warm and fuzzy. :)

**Update 12/10/02** I fixed the link to the story above...I think.

Saturday, December 7, 2002

Quote of the Day
7:17pm

Florida is the wang of the United States - Homer Simpson

'Tis Better to Give...
10:40pm

Hubby and I battled the crowds at the mall tonight to do our annual good deed. We have a "Giving Tree" at the local mall where the Salvation Army places wish cards on a giant Christmas tree. These wish cards all represent a child who would otherwise not get a present and contains their age, gender, clothing size and what they wish to get for Christmas. Many kids ask for video games, CD players and the like but tonight we ran across more than one card where the child asked for sheets and a comforter. How sad is that? How destitute does a child need to be to wish for sheets for Christmas? It broke my heart! Of course, we had to take that wish card and we also took one for a 9 year old girl who wanted a skateboard. We got the skateboard first and also threw in the elbow and knee pads, of course. We then got the sheets and comforter for the 14 year old girl. We also got her a cool keepsake box called "Lisa Frank Fuzzy Treasures Art Chest" that the sales person said were THE hot item. Anyway, I hope she likes the butterfly sheets and the box and that her life gets a little easier.

There are so many children who will receive nothing this year unless those of us that can help do help. When you are out shopping this year, consider helping a child who would otherwise wake up to an empty stocking. It will make you feel good!

Quote of the Day
12:01am

Kick the sandman in his sack
stay up late
Insomniac

- Dave Attell

Thursday, December 5, 2002

Food for Thought
4:36pm

75% of people who die of a heart attack during sex are having sex at the time with someone other than their spouse. Hmmmm....

Wednesday, December 4, 2002

Winter in New Mexico
7:04pm

For those of you who wonder if we ever have snow in New Mexico, I give you exhibit A, Saint Francis Cathedral in Santa Fe, photo taken at around 2pm today. A good deal of the snow had already melted but as you can see, it's still quite the winter wonderland.

And in case you are curious what it looks like down where I live, in the foothills of the Sandia Mountains in Albuquerque, it pretty much looked like the picture below for the past two mornings. Obviously, Mother Nature watches her calendar closely and makes sure we New Mexicans know when it's December!

Tuesday, December 3, 2002

Confession Time
10:27pm

1) I am dental-phobic.
2) I am really stubborn.
3) I had my teeth professionally cleaned for the first time in several years yesterday.
4) I'm proud of myself for finally getting my teeth cleaned.
5) I need 2 crowns, 3 fillings and 2 gingivectomies.
6) I'm scared but would rather have #5 than a root canal.

What tha...
12:23pm

Could someone tell me why one of my rose bushes is now blooming even though every night the temps here dip below freezing? It is schitzophrenic? It is radioactive? What's going on???

Monday, December 2, 2002

UGH
10:44pm

"I brought her up to me. And then my body, like a cathedral, broke out into ringing. The hunchback in the belfry had jumped and was swinging madly on the rope."

Pretty bad, huh? The text above is from a book up for the Britain's Bad Sex in Fiction Award 2002. Ethan Hawke, actor and husband of Uma Thurman, is also on the short list. That's something to be proud of. His book had a passage about sex in a car and smacking some ass while turning up the radio or some such crap. Good luck Ethan!

Sunday, December 1, 2002

Awwww...
9:53pm

Isn't this the cutest kitten? I couldn't resist sharing it.

I'm So Disappointed
11:01am

NBC is in negotiations to make Harry Connick Jr a permanent cast member of Will and Grace. Harry's not bad, but compared to the rest of the cast, he might as well be a dead fish. And I HATE that Grace is suuposedly married to his (yawn) boring character. The only thing that kept my spirits up was the fact that I knew Harry had only signed on for 16 or so episodes and surely that must be coming to an end soon. Yes, there was one funny episode this season and it was the one where Connick didn't appear. You'd think NBC would have learned that the way to kill a great show is through monogamous relationships. Look at Sam and Diane on Cheers and Frasier is a lot less funny now that Niles is with Daphne. Oh well...another great sitcom is about to go down the toilet.

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