The Soap Box
A place for me to dump my brain and you to pick thru it

Baffled
1:53pm

After Christmas, Hanukkah, and your 401K, if you have an extra $10 lying around I have the perfect way for you to blow it. Apparently the newest pay-per-view waste of time and money is "William Shatner's Splat Attack" where you can watch Captain Kirk playing paintball for an hour and 20 minutes. It's premiering next Sunday, December 8th. How can you resist? Call your cable company NOW!

Saturday Ramblings
11:00am

Happy birthday Ben Stiller! I am exactly 3 days older than Ben. We coulda been twins...almost. Didn't make it to the gym yesterday but there is always today! Yesterday was the official "Buy Nothing Day" meant to send some social message to someone. However, seeing as Wal-mart says it cleared $1.43 BILLION yesterday, I'd say BND didn't work.

The paper is going well and I should be able to finish it today. Hubby said if I finish it today we will go to any movie of my choice. I'm thinking of seeing the Fast Runner. It's almost 3 hours long so I'll have to make sure I don't drink anything about 2 hours prior to going or I'll never make it.

Writing My Paper
6:40pm

I can't tell you how much I just can't get into writing this paper. I just wanna veg out and watch 12 hours of Junkyard Wars on TLC. I am trying to tell myself, "It's only one more week of hell then you can sit on your ass and atrophy for 6 weeks if you want." Perhaps I shouldn't have had a dinner of turkey leftovers. I'm blaming the "Turkey Tryptophan(sp) Monster" for making it so dificult to concentrate. Of course, if I stopped writing this blog entry, I could work on the paper too. WTF is an APA style paper anyway? When do you footnote stuff? Somene help me!

Recovering
1:53pm

It's sugar coma day. Mom made me a birthday cake for the first time in years! I totally chowed on it. It was great! However, I happen to be hypogycemic and am totally hung over today. Gonna nap but then try to get to the gym. Not sure how hard I'm gonna try tho.

I woke up this morning and thought it must be at least Sunday but it's not! Woohoo! That gives me a few more days to write my paper on the lack of rites of passage into adulthood in our society. mike, wanna finish it up for me?

Hey, what movie should I see this weekend? Keep in mind that I've already seen Solaris and Harry Potter.

Happy Thanksgiving!
10:03am

I am thankful for my wonderful husband and the rest of my family and friends.

Don't eat too much!

*Update:9:23pm*
I should have taken my own advice! OMG I'm stuffed! UGH!

Happy Birthday...
11:21am

...to me, I live in a tree! I smell like a monkey...heyyyyyyy, that's not right! Thanks Tony for the b-day email. For those who care, I'm 29...for about the 8th year running. My wonderful hubby woke me up with a pile of presents! He's such a sweetie! Now off to a bagel and lox breakfast then the movie Solaris (starring George Clooney's bare butt) then a nap then out to dinner! Phew! How exhausting! I got a wish list on Amazon if you wanna get me something. Otherwise just leave a comment. A comment is just as good :)

You've Got to be Kidding
3:10pm

Nicholas Cage is divorcing Lisa Marie Presley only 4 months after marrying her at a super romantic wedding in Hawaii. He was married to her for a shorter amount of time than Michael Jackson was. What does that mean? Scares me, personally.

Miss World Update
11:24pm

The death toll has risen to 220 in the riots in Nigeria sparked by the Miss World pageant that was scheduled to be held there. 22 churches and 8 mosques have been burned. All for a stupid beauty pageant. Who knew it would be taken so seriously?

UPS: Homophobic?
11:22am

A company called BeProud.com created a marketed a doll called Billy Parcel Service doll which sold like hot cakes in the gay community. (To say Billy is well endowed is an understatement.) The problem? UPS sued them saying the doll was obviously in a UPS uniform and that was copyright infringement. You can read the rest of the story yourself but I gotta add one last thing: UPS is the official delivery service for BeProud.com.

Color Me Impressed
12:53am

While watching "Junkyard Wars," one of my favorite shows along with "Full Metal Challenge", one of those Apple ads came on with Joe Schmoe spouting how he used to use a PC but couldn't figure it out and how easy he found the Mac. Well, even tho I'm a die-hard Mac user and have been for 17 years, I find these ads tedious. They usually find total idiots with whom I'd rather not be associated. However, tonight's Joe Schmoe was none other than Yo Yo Ma, the world renowned cellist! Wow! I wonder how they got him to do the ad. They prolly promised him free Macs for the rest of his life, or until they go out of business, whichever comes first.

Only in America
6:29pm

In a small town in Nevada, there was a tie for county commissioner. How was the tie broken? By cutting cards! Both candidates drew Jacks but the Jack of spades apparently trumps the Jack of diamonds and the county had its new commissioner. Don't believe me? Read it for yourself here.

Dangerous Laptops
12:15am

A fully dressed scientist burned his dick by using his laptop in his lap (well DUH!). He said he felt a burning but didn't think anything of it until the next day when he saw the redness and irritation. A doctor found a 3/4 inch blister on his "scrotal skin" which then became infected.

OK, so question #1 is what kind of pants was this guy wearing? Invisible ones? Imaginary ones? Question #2 is if the blister was on his scrotal skin, was he sitting on the laptop or was the laptop sitting on him? Question #3: you feel a burning on your crotch but don't bother to look until the next day? Perhaps this guy will be another Darwin Award winner by burning his "swimmers" with his computer.

Strange Days Indeed
10:40am

A college freshman is dead after trying his own stunt, a la Jackass. He fell out of the back of a pickup, smashing his head against the pavement. You know, there is a reason there is a disclaimer before the show. And it's called JACKASS! While I do feel for his parents, I would like to nominate this young man for the Darwin Awards.

There have been at least 105 deaths due to riots in Nigeria revolving around the Miss World Pageant. I bet the women who decided not to participate in protest to the verdict to stone to death a woman guilty of having an affair are glad they are miles from the place. I still don't understand who thought it was a good idea to have a Western beauty pageant in a significantly Musilm country where modest dress for both men and women is expected. Oh, and by the way? The contest hasn't even officially started yet.

3:45pm Update: The pageant has been moved to London in an attempt to end the rioting.

Quote of the Day
3:45pm

"You should always know what's in your ass right? it's your ass, not like the glovebox in the car." - April

Fun, Fun, Fun
2:03pm

I cannot put into words how much fun it is to rebuild this by hand. Luckily, I had backed up all my blog entries before torching MT. Next up is to put links to other blogs on the right. 'Course, I also have to give a presentation tonight at school which I'm not really looking forward to. On the up side, I went to the gym today. That's 2x this week! Yay for me!

PS: Faithful readers, I am apologizing in advance for the fact that I don't know when I will have time to place your old comments into this new format.

New Blog Location and Process
12:05am

OK, I'm bloody sick of this damn blog situation and am taking matters into my own hands. If this doesn't work, I'm gonna have to up my Lithium dosage and climb into bed for a week. So, things are going to be wierd here while I do this MANUALLY! ACK! Scary no?

Anyway, this is going to be the new home for my blog so if you link to me, and I love each and every one of you, please update your link. Thanks!

mike, you totally rock for letting me hijack this blog this week. I owe you!!!!

PS: if you are reading this, please leave a comment so I can see if the damn thing works. ;) Thanks to Jerry for his link to Haloscan comment software.
 

Got $400,000?
8:46 pm

What is a beautiful aging actress to do to make a comeback? Why, get a complete body makeover! Demi Moore recently had Botox injections in her face, new implants put in her chest, liposuction of her stomach, butt and thighs, collagen in her lips, and porcelain veneers on her teeth. She also hired a personal trainer, a nutritionist, a yoga instructor and kickboxing coach. Total cost? A mere $400,000!

Currently, Moore has no known movie roles coming up other than a cameo in the new Charlie's Angels movie. Wow, that money really jump-started her career!
 

One Eff'ed Up State
04:07:49 PM

In the past week we've had a man die from a fleash eating bacteria, a couple from NM diagnosed with the Bubonic plague and a 15 year old babysitter rape a 4 year old child. Can someone remind me why I live here?

Which David Bowie are You?
01:39:21 AM

I have no idea if this is a good thing or not...

Plastic Surgery Gone Bad
11:14:58 PM

Wanna see what happens when you have too much plastic surgery? Click here.

(Link feefed from Addlepated.)

Christmas is Coming...
12:20:36 PM

How do I know? I just spent one month's worth of my TA salary at Amazon.com.

Cleaning Out My Ears
11:19:55 PM

So I've seen this commercial for Axe Men's Deoderant Body Spray about a hundred times. The commercial in question takes place in an elevator and the soundtrack in the back clearly repeats the phrase "Cheese Mac, Cheese Mac" and I could not figure out for the life of me why they were singing about macaroni and cheese in an ad for men's smelly stuff unless, of course, Axe smells like mac and cheese.

Then last night, it dawned on me! They are saying "Tease me"! Duh! Blond moment extraordinaire!

Jerkin' It
01:59:39 PM

What do you do when the factory in which you work is in debt to the tune of $20 million and you're afraid you're gonna lose your job? Why, donate sperm, of course! Auto factory workers in Bucharest, Romania plan to sell their sperm for several months to help get their factory out of the red. I wonder if after a few months of donating they will be walking into work a bit strangely.

Won't Get Fooled Again
11:15:34 AM

**Note: I refuse, absolutely refuse, to name names or blogs in this entry**

Do you ever read a blog for a while, more than once, and feel like you know the person who is writing it? You have an idea of their background, education level, what they do for a job, their ethics and morals, etc. Then, one day, you realize the person you thought you knew is the opposite gender than you thought? OK, maybe it's never happened to you, but it's happened to me.

It's always a bit shocking but also a wake-up call. I think of myself as liberal and very open-minded but yet, I still make assumptions about someone's gender based on use of language and interests. The funny thing is that I have been at the other end of the same assumptions. WAY back when I was in Engineering school, there was even one asshole kid who swore I was really a man, probably because I swear like a sailor and because of my career choice. I think he was freaked out that he found a "chick" who he could hang with that acted more like a frat brother than someone he wanted to nail.

OK, what's my point? I don't have one. I just find it fascinating that certain characteristics manifested only through the written word on a page floating in space still trigger certain stereotypes formulated 30-some-odd years ago that I can't seem to shake.

I guess that's it.

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